1
00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,743
To the left.

2
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,867
Breathe.

3
00:01:26,796 --> 00:01:28,623
Open your chest.

4
00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,640
Again.

5
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,317
- Here you go, boss.
- Thanks.

6
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:04,871
- Hi.
- I couldn't get a sitter.

7
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:07,124
It's okay. Go get a mat.

8
00:02:08,505 --> 00:02:12,088
Hi. Hi. Hi.
You wanna do yoga?

9
00:02:14,636 --> 00:02:16,794
A thousand dollars for dirt?

10
00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:19,932
Since when does dirt
cost a thousand dollars?

11
00:02:20,059 --> 00:02:21,601
"Dirt cheap" is an expression,
Mrs Griffith.

12
00:02:21,727 --> 00:02:23,968
It doesn't apply to a city
built on a desert.

13
00:02:28,359 --> 00:02:30,849
Here you go.
You sit right there.

14
00:02:41,163 --> 00:02:43,203
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

15
00:02:47,878 --> 00:02:50,037
Hey, where do you think
you're going?

16
00:03:41,265 --> 00:03:44,184
Mama was queen of the mambo
Papa was king of the Congo

17
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:47,395
Deep down in the jungle
I started bangin' my first bongo

18
00:03:47,522 --> 00:03:49,064
- Every monkey like...
- Hello.

19
00:03:49,191 --> 00:03:52,227
- He's really doing it.
- Who's doing what?

20
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,397
Kevin. He's leaving me.

21
00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:59,363
- Where are you?
- I'm cowering behind a flowerpot...

22
00:03:59,493 --> 00:04:01,117
in my courtyard.

23
00:04:01,245 --> 00:04:05,028
- How do I stop him?
- Don't, don't, don't stop him.
Just let him go, Abbie.

24
00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:08,415
- My hands are shaking.
- Listen, I thought you were
supposed to be a yoga teacher.

25
00:04:08,543 --> 00:04:11,497
Just pull yourself up by your chakras
and do exactly what I say.

26
00:04:11,629 --> 00:04:14,251
Now, in my opinion, the best defence
is a good pretence...

27
00:04:14,383 --> 00:04:16,210
so just pretend you're going out.

28
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,834
Just get all dressed up
in your Sunday best and leave.

29
00:04:18,971 --> 00:04:21,924
- And then what?
- Rush over to my house
and tell me all about it.

30
00:04:26,228 --> 00:04:28,980
- Did I come at a bad time?
- Oh, no, I'm used to it, Kevin.

31
00:04:29,106 --> 00:04:33,815
- You always come before I'm ready.
- I'll come back
for the rest of my stuff later.

32
00:04:33,944 --> 00:04:37,360
No, let's just get this over with.
Holler if you need any help.

33
00:04:49,877 --> 00:04:53,246
- It's not gonna work this time.
- What's not gonna work?

34
00:04:53,381 --> 00:04:54,958
Your fantastic body.

35
00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:58,382
Then you won't mind
doing up my dress.

36
00:05:18,114 --> 00:05:20,865
- You don't have to stop.
- Yes, I do.

37
00:05:22,077 --> 00:05:24,282
If I don't,
it'll start all over again...

38
00:05:24,412 --> 00:05:26,451
and then it'll end
all over again.

39
00:05:32,837 --> 00:05:35,459
Don't you think there's a chance
we can still work this out?

40
00:05:35,590 --> 00:05:38,425
Look, it's not you, okay? It's me.
I mean, you're... you're... you're great.

41
00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,876
You know, you're... you're smart,
you're... you're... you're beautiful...

42
00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:42,755
you're a good cook
and you are a great lay.

43
00:05:42,889 --> 00:05:45,641
I'm just... I'm just not ready,
all right? I... I'm... I'm not there yet.

44
00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:49,219
- Well, where is "there", Kevin?
- Commitment-wise. You're
way too much for me right now.

45
00:05:49,353 --> 00:05:50,932
Wait a minute.

46
00:05:51,063 --> 00:05:54,646
Are you saying that if I had
less to offer you, you'd have
more of a future together?

47
00:05:54,776 --> 00:05:56,733
Okay. You want the truth?

48
00:05:56,861 --> 00:05:58,901
I... I wanna date
less complicated women.

49
00:05:59,031 --> 00:06:01,652
- What?
- I wanna come home
and we'd go out to dinner...

50
00:06:01,783 --> 00:06:05,069
and people come over and talk to me,
and she smiles and she nods, okay?

51
00:06:05,203 --> 00:06:06,947
And then we go home
and we do it...

52
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,120
and she doesn't instruct me
like an air traffic controller.

53
00:06:09,249 --> 00:06:11,574
- I do not instruct you.
- And in the morning, she understands...

54
00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:16,585
that she's got to leave quickly,
so I can get on with the rest of my day
and I don't have to think about it.

55
00:06:16,715 --> 00:06:18,339
Okay? That's what I want
right now. Simplicity.

56
00:06:18,467 --> 00:06:22,714
No, what you want is a bimbo,
and that's exactly what you deserve.

57
00:06:22,847 --> 00:06:27,259
- Robert was so right about you.
- Do you think I give a shit what
that faggot thinks about me?

58
00:06:27,393 --> 00:06:29,883
Wait a minute. Kevin.

59
00:06:30,813 --> 00:06:33,730
- Please don't leave me like this.
- Look, I don't love you.

60
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:37,143
It's over.

61
00:06:48,747 --> 00:06:51,203
They say that falling in love...

62
00:06:51,334 --> 00:06:53,575
I am the only one
who's seen both.

63
00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:55,205
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

64
00:06:55,337 --> 00:06:59,632
Ethel is and always will be
the definitive Annie...

65
00:06:59,759 --> 00:07:03,756
and that bottle-blonde upstart cannot
hold a six-shooter to Merman.

66
00:07:03,887 --> 00:07:05,595
It's true. True!

67
00:07:05,723 --> 00:07:08,759
- Okay, so, uh, one heart.
- Are you bidding? Thank you. Pass.

68
00:07:08,893 --> 00:07:13,306
- Four clubs.
- Four diamonds, and I
don't mean rhinestones.

69
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:18,232
Oh, good. Robert's arrived.
Now we can settle this Annie Get
Your Gun controversy once and for all.

70
00:07:18,361 --> 00:07:21,730
- Robert, Merman or Hutton? Who reigns?
- I have no idea, you guys.

71
00:07:21,865 --> 00:07:24,022
I'm afraid I flunked
on gay history.

72
00:07:24,158 --> 00:07:26,234
- Pity, Robbie, pity.
- Take a tutorial.

73
00:07:26,369 --> 00:07:29,073
- Silly boys.
- Let's move on, shall we? I pass.

74
00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:33,708
Come on.

75
00:07:34,502 --> 00:07:36,459
I told you there'd be tears
before bedtime.

76
00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:39,125
- Another two years down the drain.
- Listen, Abbie.

77
00:07:39,257 --> 00:07:42,211
You settled for less, you got less.
That's it. That's the end of the story.

78
00:07:42,343 --> 00:07:45,794
Full stop. Now, if I were you,
and I practically am...

79
00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:50,427
I'd turn my little red wagon
around and I'd get off
that dead-end street pronto.

80
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,431
I feel like Kevin was my last chance
for a normal life.

81
00:07:54,689 --> 00:07:57,856
- Now you're really scaring me.
- Robert, look at me.

82
00:07:57,984 --> 00:08:01,400
- I'm not 24 any more.
- You're not even 34 any more. So what?

83
00:08:01,529 --> 00:08:04,483
Maybe I'd like to have
a family at some point...

84
00:08:04,616 --> 00:08:05,991
before it's too late.

85
00:08:06,117 --> 00:08:09,320
Abbie, I think you should sort things
out with your own wacky family...

86
00:08:09,454 --> 00:08:12,704
before you think about creating
a dysfunctional carbon copy
of your own.

87
00:08:12,832 --> 00:08:16,451
-Oh, thank you. I knew you'd understand.
-If you want to have a kid,
just go ahead and have one.

88
00:08:16,586 --> 00:08:19,421
- With what man?
- You don't need to have a man
to have a child.

89
00:08:19,547 --> 00:08:20,959
This is the 21 st century.

90
00:08:21,090 --> 00:08:23,796
Just go out and buy yourself
some nice, frozen Ivy League sperm...

91
00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:26,632
swish it around in a test tube
and bottoms up.

92
00:08:26,763 --> 00:08:28,803
I don't wanna have
a baby that way.

93
00:08:29,599 --> 00:08:31,639
Well, then go to China and buy one.

94
00:08:33,604 --> 00:08:35,846
I wanna have a baby
with someone I love...

95
00:08:35,981 --> 00:08:40,192
and I'm never gonna meet anybody,
and pretty soon it's just gonna be
another thing I didn't do.

96
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,442
Listen, darling, if this evening's
gonna turn into a pity party...

97
00:08:42,571 --> 00:08:45,489
I'm gonna go up to the big house
and sing Annie Get Your Gun
with the others.

98
00:08:45,616 --> 00:08:47,656
Can't I just be sad?

99
00:08:48,827 --> 00:08:50,867
Can't you just humour me?

100
00:08:53,415 --> 00:08:55,491
Oh, all right.

101
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:01,420
Well, actually, not all right.

102
00:09:01,549 --> 00:09:05,878
I can't commiserate with you. Not about
breaking up with that asshole Kevin.

103
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,345
It just makes me too angry.
Abbie...

104
00:09:09,474 --> 00:09:11,964
you are the most beautiful woman
I know.

105
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,178
And I think more highly of you
than you do of yourself.

106
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:21,229
- What is it with straight guys in L.A.?
- There aren't any.

107
00:09:22,612 --> 00:09:25,185
I can't imagine any man letting you
slip through his fingers. Really.

108
00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:29,775
You're the only woman in the world
that I would like to...

109
00:09:31,162 --> 00:09:33,155
be.

110
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:35,328
- Ow!
- Thanks.

111
00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:39,495
Anyway, let's drink to never
having to see that loser again...

112
00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:41,456
or talk about him!

113
00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:43,250
I have to.

114
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:46,218
Might as well just go to the studio now
and get it over with.

115
00:09:46,344 --> 00:09:47,672
Why?

116
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,963
Because he still
has my house keys.

117
00:09:50,098 --> 00:09:53,681
Are you going to sacrifice your last
shred of self-respect for a set of keys?

118
00:09:55,479 --> 00:09:58,016
- I think so.
- That is tragic.

119
00:09:58,148 --> 00:10:01,647
This is how much I care.
I'll handle this.

120
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,283
This here.

121
00:10:10,869 --> 00:10:14,534
- Turn the hi-hats down.
- This is radio all day. Clubs.

122
00:10:14,664 --> 00:10:17,784
- Good stuff. I hear a single.
- Keep the bass
bumpin' like that, though.

123
00:10:18,961 --> 00:10:20,917
Get the bass goin'.

124
00:10:23,674 --> 00:10:25,382
- Keep the bottle head up.
- More bass. Put more bass in.

125
00:10:25,509 --> 00:10:28,676
Hear that? Make you wanna grow
a big-ass Afro, huh?

126
00:10:30,222 --> 00:10:32,215
- Hi, hi.
- What the...

127
00:10:32,349 --> 00:10:33,630
Stop!

128
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,345
Robert, what the hell
are you doing here?

129
00:10:35,477 --> 00:10:37,802
I haven't come here to argue.
I just want the keys.

130
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,774
You know what I'm talking about.
The house keys. Hand 'em over!

131
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,307
- I don't have your keys.
- No more excuses, poopsie.

132
00:10:43,444 --> 00:10:45,021
Poopsie?

133
00:10:45,154 --> 00:10:46,981
I haven't got time for the pain.

134
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,071
Hey, Kev, look like
your bitch need a shave.

135
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,607
- Actually, I wax.
- He's not my bitch, okay?

136
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:55,243
- So what you sayin'? You the bitch, Kev?
- I'm not anybody's bitch, all right?

137
00:10:55,372 --> 00:10:57,828
- Abbie put you up to this, didn't she?
- Oh, A-Abbie... Abbie.

138
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,995
Is that what you're calling me
this month to your chocolate-covered
peanut gallery?

139
00:11:01,129 --> 00:11:03,750
- Yo Mama!
- This is precisely why...

140
00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:05,541
I'm leaving him, everyone.

141
00:11:05,675 --> 00:11:08,130
This double life
is tearing my roots apart.

142
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:11,345
Just give me the keys, please,
to Abbie's house.

143
00:11:11,472 --> 00:11:16,134
- Yeah, give this punk the keys, Kev.
- You left a few things at home.

144
00:11:16,269 --> 00:11:17,893
- Toothbrush. Ha!
- A toothbrush?

145
00:11:18,021 --> 00:11:21,852
- A girl's best friend: knee pads!
- Knee pads!

146
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:24,818
- Nair.
- Nair!
- Kevin!

147
00:11:24,944 --> 00:11:27,649
Oh, one more thing.
You forgot these.

148
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,353
- Oh, man!
- You slut!

149
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,320
Want the keys? Huh?

150
00:11:34,621 --> 00:11:36,862
Get the hell outta here!

151
00:11:36,998 --> 00:11:39,204
Kev, those rubbers
wasn't even lubricated, dog.

152
00:11:40,293 --> 00:11:42,369
Oh, look what you
made happen, Kev.

153
00:11:42,503 --> 00:11:45,457
- You're not gonna even
walk her to the car?
- Oh, that's funny.

154
00:11:45,590 --> 00:11:47,629
Go suck it down, Kev!

155
00:11:52,305 --> 00:11:55,010
Come on. Hurry up.
Get in the car.

156
00:11:56,393 --> 00:11:58,635
Yes! Hurry up!

157
00:11:58,770 --> 00:12:00,893
Won't stop
Never underestimate us

158
00:12:01,022 --> 00:12:02,184
- Can't stop
- Thanks, Mary.

159
00:12:02,315 --> 00:12:04,058
You're welcome, Muriel.

160
00:12:04,192 --> 00:12:06,315
- Never underestimate us
- Drive!

161
00:12:07,362 --> 00:12:10,114
- Ooh! This is madness!
- Can't stop

162
00:12:14,327 --> 00:12:15,869
I'm so glad you guys are here.

163
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:19,199
If it weren't for you,
I'd feel like I was crashing
my own boyfriend's funeral.

164
00:12:23,712 --> 00:12:25,254
Who are the pallbearers?

165
00:12:25,381 --> 00:12:28,964
Ugh. A grab bag of Joe's relatives
he couldn't relate to.

166
00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:33,173
Wouldn't participate in his life,
but they'd drive across three states
to attend his funeral.

167
00:12:33,305 --> 00:12:35,048
What's he wearing in there?

168
00:12:35,182 --> 00:12:38,266
I said his favourite jeans and
a T-shirt. They said, "No, a suit."

169
00:12:38,394 --> 00:12:40,931
So I said, "Okay, fine. That black
St Laurent double-breasted velvet suit."

170
00:12:41,062 --> 00:12:43,435
- He loved that suit.
- I love that suit.
- Oh, I love that suit.

171
00:12:43,566 --> 00:12:45,357
- "Too loud," they said.
- A black suit?

172
00:12:45,484 --> 00:12:46,859
"Too gay" is what they meant.

173
00:12:46,986 --> 00:12:49,228
So now he's in one
of his brother's old suits.

174
00:12:49,362 --> 00:12:50,774
Hugo Boss, I believe.

175
00:12:50,907 --> 00:12:52,449
Death in Boss.

176
00:12:53,492 --> 00:12:55,532
So the black velvet suit
is still around?

177
00:12:56,704 --> 00:12:59,574
- Sorry.
- I just wish I could have
given him what he wanted.

178
00:12:59,706 --> 00:13:02,328
Joe wanted to be cremated...

179
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:05,164
his ashes scattered to the wind
in Joshua Tree with...

180
00:13:05,296 --> 00:13:09,376
Don McLean's "American Pie" playing
really, really loud on a boom box.

181
00:13:09,509 --> 00:13:10,623
- Family said no.
- Why?

182
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,084
- God.
- Ask her.

183
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:16,803
Lord God,
bless this grave...

184
00:13:16,932 --> 00:13:18,676
and send your angel
to watch over it.

185
00:13:18,809 --> 00:13:21,099
Joe did not want
all this Gothic hocus-pocus.

186
00:13:21,229 --> 00:13:23,351
- Shh.
- I feel like I'm in The Omen.

187
00:13:24,857 --> 00:13:28,772
There's always great sadness
when we say goodbye to a loved one...

188
00:13:28,903 --> 00:13:31,524
especially one
so beloved as Joseph...

189
00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:34,147
struck down in his prime
by pneumonia.

190
00:13:34,284 --> 00:13:36,027
Pneumonia. Please.

191
00:13:36,161 --> 00:13:40,074
This is the hardest thing most of us
will ever have to face...

192
00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:42,744
to stand at the grave
of a loved one.

193
00:13:42,876 --> 00:13:45,663
Lord, welcome our brother
to paradise...

194
00:13:45,795 --> 00:13:48,416
and may Your light
shine on him.

195
00:13:48,548 --> 00:13:50,624
- Amen.
- Amen.

196
00:13:53,970 --> 00:13:57,885
- I can't remember if I cried
- Shh.

197
00:13:58,016 --> 00:14:01,468
When I read about
his widowed bride

198
00:14:02,771 --> 00:14:07,563
But something touched me
deep inside

199
00:14:07,692 --> 00:14:09,519
The day

200
00:14:09,653 --> 00:14:13,104
The music died

201
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:19,160
So, bye, bye

202
00:14:19,287 --> 00:14:21,613
Miss American Pie

203
00:14:21,749 --> 00:14:25,165
Drove my Chevy to the levee

204
00:14:25,294 --> 00:14:28,745
But the levee was dry

205
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,214
- Them good ol' boys were drinkin'
- Goodbye,Joe.

206
00:14:32,342 --> 00:14:34,418
Whisky and rye

207
00:14:34,553 --> 00:14:40,473
Singin' this'll be
the day that I die

208
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:44,219
This'll be the day that I die

209
00:14:45,981 --> 00:14:47,890
They were singin'

210
00:14:48,025 --> 00:14:52,023
Bye, bye,
Miss American Pie

211
00:14:52,154 --> 00:14:54,360
Drove my Chevy to the levee

212
00:14:54,489 --> 00:14:57,063
But the levee was dry

213
00:14:57,201 --> 00:15:01,412
Them good ol' boys
were drinkin' whisky and rye

214
00:15:01,538 --> 00:15:07,328
Singin' this'll be
the day that I die

215
00:15:11,298 --> 00:15:13,172
When I die,
I don't want to be buried...

216
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:15,673
and I don't want to be burned.

217
00:15:16,428 --> 00:15:20,047
Just cut me up
and stuff me in this freezer...

218
00:15:20,182 --> 00:15:23,100
next to these frozen pizzas
for the next hundred years.

219
00:15:26,939 --> 00:15:28,813
Robert?

220
00:15:28,942 --> 00:15:31,018
What?

221
00:15:31,152 --> 00:15:33,275
Hey. Robert.

222
00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:36,269
It's okay.

223
00:15:39,536 --> 00:15:41,777
- Please stay with me tonight.
- Yeah.

224
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,872
Just six more spots to fill.

225
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:50,493
Our fifth finalist,
Miss Colombia!

226
00:15:52,883 --> 00:15:55,088
Is Miss Colombia
clenching her jaw or what?

227
00:15:55,218 --> 00:15:57,376
She's totally wired on Fen-Phen.

228
00:15:58,262 --> 00:15:59,342
Hope she wins.

229
00:15:59,473 --> 00:16:01,928
Do you think they're all really
popular and have boyfriends?

230
00:16:02,058 --> 00:16:03,221
Of course.

231
00:16:05,103 --> 00:16:08,803
Look at Miss Venezuela.
She looks so happy.

232
00:16:10,942 --> 00:16:12,484
You crazy?

233
00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:15,861
She's got Vaseline on her teeth,
her national costume is too tight...

234
00:16:15,989 --> 00:16:18,397
she's been smiling nonstop
for the last two years...

235
00:16:18,533 --> 00:16:20,076
and her shoes are too small.

236
00:16:20,201 --> 00:16:22,241
She reminds me
of myself on a date.

237
00:16:23,747 --> 00:16:26,665
- I can't imagine ever dating again.
- Oh, shut up.

238
00:16:26,792 --> 00:16:28,748
'Course you can.
Just think of it as a pageant.

239
00:16:30,378 --> 00:16:33,333
Yeah. Miss Hopeful.

240
00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:35,504
If you were to win
tonight's contest...

241
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:39,003
what would be your first act
as Miss Universe?

242
00:16:39,137 --> 00:16:43,135
Well, I would get down
on my hands and knees...

243
00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:46,636
and I would promise to change
everything about myself to please you.

244
00:16:48,481 --> 00:16:50,722
That doesn't work.
I've tried it.

245
00:16:50,857 --> 00:16:53,064
I've been down
on my hands and knees.

246
00:16:53,194 --> 00:16:55,270
Yes, well, I find that hard
not to believe.

247
00:16:55,404 --> 00:16:58,025
Grovelling, that is,
for love and affection.

248
00:17:01,034 --> 00:17:02,577
Do you still miss him?

249
00:17:05,373 --> 00:17:08,243
Well, I don't miss
being first runner-up.

250
00:17:10,711 --> 00:17:12,206
Yeah, I miss him.

251
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,382
He was totally me.

252
00:17:21,222 --> 00:17:24,140
- Happy Independence Day.
- Bottoms up.

253
00:17:24,266 --> 00:17:28,347
Turning the situation
'round a little more

254
00:17:29,981 --> 00:17:32,437
Making it look like things

255
00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:35,603
Are just fine

256
00:17:35,737 --> 00:17:39,236
- You can go your way
- Ooh, lady.

257
00:17:41,576 --> 00:17:44,032
- Shudder to think...
- You need to have your back waxed again.

258
00:17:46,455 --> 00:17:50,750
Touch in a place
that makes it a love thing

259
00:17:52,379 --> 00:17:54,418
Straight to the face

260
00:17:55,256 --> 00:17:57,961
One-way love
would be a miracle

261
00:17:58,092 --> 00:18:00,168
Touch in a place

262
00:18:00,303 --> 00:18:02,759
That makes it a love thing

263
00:18:03,807 --> 00:18:06,428
Straight to the face
at any rate

264
00:18:06,559 --> 00:18:09,727
One-way love
would be a miracle

265
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:13,187
Touch in a place

266
00:18:18,613 --> 00:18:22,196
One-way love
would be a miracle

267
00:18:27,915 --> 00:18:30,037
Dreamily passing by

268
00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:32,206
Words sort of come and go

269
00:18:34,797 --> 00:18:37,168
Come up here.

270
00:18:42,846 --> 00:18:46,049
- How long have they been together?
- Oh, I don't know. Since the Ice Age.

271
00:18:46,183 --> 00:18:49,053
- Hmm?
- Abbie, don't touch anything.

272
00:18:49,186 --> 00:18:51,642
These people are maniacs
about their stuff.

273
00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:54,524
They seem so easygoing.

274
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:57,354
Don't be fooled by the alcoholic haze
they walk around in.

275
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:05,151
- Sorry.
- You're a total liability.

276
00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:10,285
Flying Down To Eio,
Top Hat...

277
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,417
The Gay Divorcee,
Swing Time.

278
00:19:13,544 --> 00:19:15,288
Nothing but '30s musicals.

279
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:18,256
- They got stuck in the Depression.
- So did I.

280
00:19:19,508 --> 00:19:22,509
Steppin' out with my baby

281
00:19:22,636 --> 00:19:25,803
I can't go wrong
'cause I'm in right

282
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:28,138
It's for sure
not for maybe

283
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:31,636
- That I'm all dressed up tonight
- This'll sort her out.

284
00:19:32,646 --> 00:19:35,019
- Whatever it is you're doing,
put it down.
- Yes.

285
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:39,063
Never felt quite so sunny

286
00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:41,068
And I keep on knockin' wood

287
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:47,866
Where are you?

288
00:19:47,995 --> 00:19:51,411
- Ta-da!
- Abbie, you are naughty.

289
00:19:51,541 --> 00:19:54,115
- I couldn't help it.
- Ashby's gonna have a coronary.

290
00:19:54,252 --> 00:19:56,957
- You've got to be very careful.
- Don't worry. I'll put it back.

291
00:19:57,922 --> 00:20:00,295
- Whose dress is this?
- Ashby's.

292
00:20:00,425 --> 00:20:01,836
Ashby's?

293
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,294
No. Ashby, in his day,
my darling...

294
00:20:04,429 --> 00:20:06,836
was one of the most important designers
to ever throw a fit.

295
00:20:14,605 --> 00:20:16,017
Happy Fourth.

296
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,893
Steppin' out with my baby

297
00:20:22,030 --> 00:20:24,734
I can't go wrong
'cause I'm in right

298
00:20:24,866 --> 00:20:27,488
It's for sure
and not for maybe

299
00:20:27,619 --> 00:20:30,026
That I'm all dressed up tonight

300
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:32,915
Steppin' out with my honey

301
00:20:33,042 --> 00:20:35,711
Can't be bad to feel so good

302
00:20:35,836 --> 00:20:38,291
I never felt
quite so sunny

303
00:20:38,421 --> 00:20:40,747
And I keep on knockin' wood

304
00:20:40,883 --> 00:20:42,341
Whoo!

305
00:20:44,261 --> 00:20:46,218
Whoa!

306
00:20:51,352 --> 00:20:53,593
Oopsie!

307
00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:03,942
There'll be smooth sailing
'cause I'm trimmin' my sails

308
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:09,317
In my top hat and my white tie
and my tails

309
00:21:10,996 --> 00:21:14,448
- Oh, steppin' out with my baby
- Whoo!

310
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:16,790
Can't go wrong
'cause I'm in right

311
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,671
Ask me when will the day be

312
00:21:19,797 --> 00:21:23,463
The big day maybe tonight

313
00:22:23,445 --> 00:22:24,820
Hi.

314
00:22:33,413 --> 00:22:34,741
Hi, um...

315
00:22:36,541 --> 00:22:40,206
- Is it my imagination, or...
- I know.

316
00:22:40,337 --> 00:22:43,291
I wanted to call you
and tell you all about it...

317
00:22:43,423 --> 00:22:45,463
but I know you're not at home.

318
00:22:49,054 --> 00:22:52,589
Well, leave a message after the beep
and I'll get back to you.

319
00:22:55,811 --> 00:22:57,887
Oh, Christ.

320
00:23:02,318 --> 00:23:04,524
My God, it's half past 1:00!

321
00:23:04,654 --> 00:23:06,859
They'll be back any minute now.

322
00:23:06,989 --> 00:23:08,649
They're probably driving
from the airport right now.

323
00:23:08,782 --> 00:23:12,068
Please, don't just lie there,
Abbie. Do something! Help me
get this place together!

324
00:23:14,789 --> 00:23:16,828
What are these shoes doing here?

325
00:23:19,752 --> 00:23:22,040
- I can't believe you let this happen.
- Me?

326
00:23:22,171 --> 00:23:24,662
You make it sound
like you were seduced.

327
00:23:24,799 --> 00:23:28,002
- I was the one that kept saying no.
- You weren't saying "no."
You were saying "now."

328
00:23:28,136 --> 00:23:31,836
- Ridiculous!
- Anyway, you started it. You kissed me.

329
00:23:31,972 --> 00:23:33,467
I kiss you every day.
We kiss all the time.

330
00:23:33,599 --> 00:23:37,098
Every time we see each other, we kiss.
It's friendly. It's European.

331
00:23:38,271 --> 00:23:41,058
I don't think I've been to that country
in Europe where the natives say hello...

332
00:23:41,190 --> 00:23:43,314
by sticking their tongue
down your throat.

333
00:23:43,443 --> 00:23:45,815
Oh, so you haven't been
to Italy recently, have you?

334
00:23:49,198 --> 00:23:51,238
We need to talk, Robert.

335
00:23:51,367 --> 00:23:54,701
No, Abbie, we need to get this place
sorted out. Now will you help me
with this couch, now!

336
00:23:59,125 --> 00:24:01,165
Something has happened.

337
00:24:02,628 --> 00:24:05,381
It's not every day of the week
that I sleep with my best friend.

338
00:24:05,507 --> 00:24:09,967
Oh, thank God. Look.
We were lonely as hell, and we had
too much to drink. Full stop!

339
00:24:10,095 --> 00:24:13,012
Now, in half an hour, two of the most
evil queens in Christendom...

340
00:24:13,139 --> 00:24:15,216
are coming back to find
their overdecorated show palace...

341
00:24:15,350 --> 00:24:18,802
has been vandalized
by their gardener and his plotting,
nympho maniacal best friend!

342
00:24:22,483 --> 00:24:24,025
You're embarrassed, aren't you?

343
00:24:25,569 --> 00:24:28,486
"Embarrassed"? "Embarrassed"
is the understatement of the year.

344
00:24:28,613 --> 00:24:30,772
Try catatonic!
Try apoplectic!

345
00:24:32,867 --> 00:24:36,153
Why? Because you knocked over
a few lamps?

346
00:24:36,287 --> 00:24:38,577
Or because you knocked over
a few lamps with a woman?

347
00:24:38,707 --> 00:24:41,114
Can we please talk this
to death a little later?

348
00:24:41,251 --> 00:24:45,379
- We can talk this to death
a little never.
- Abbie! Abbie, wait!

349
00:24:50,636 --> 00:24:52,046
Abbie, please!

350
00:24:52,179 --> 00:24:56,426
- I've seen that look
so many times before.
- What look?

351
00:24:56,558 --> 00:24:59,844
That "shutting down, turning off,
morning after" look.

352
00:24:59,978 --> 00:25:03,478
You're just like any other guy.
I expected more from you, Robert...

353
00:25:03,607 --> 00:25:05,066
being a gay man and all.

354
00:25:05,192 --> 00:25:06,651
Abbie, Abbie, don't...

355
00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:10,607
- God, it's good to be home.
- Christ!

356
00:25:10,739 --> 00:25:13,230
Come on, Ashby.
Stop dragging ass.

357
00:25:13,367 --> 00:25:14,825
Hold your water.

358
00:25:16,578 --> 00:25:18,737
- Hi ho, Robbie!
- Hi ho.

359
00:25:21,417 --> 00:25:22,662
- My God!
- My God!

360
00:25:22,794 --> 00:25:24,870
- We've been broken into!
- Oh, my God!

361
00:25:25,003 --> 00:25:26,913
- Look at this place!
- Look at this mess!

362
00:25:27,047 --> 00:25:29,087
- It's a mess!
- My dresses are all over the place!

363
00:25:29,217 --> 00:25:31,174
- Didn't you set the alarm?
- Of course I set the alarm!

364
00:25:36,807 --> 00:25:40,556
You know, David, you're gonna have to
give this a little water on occasion.

365
00:25:40,686 --> 00:25:43,640
Doesn't perpetual care
include sprinkler service?

366
00:25:43,773 --> 00:25:46,691
- That's the spirit, David.
- To Joe.

367
00:25:46,818 --> 00:25:51,029
- Forever young and beautiful Joe.
- He still left the party too early.

368
00:25:54,158 --> 00:25:56,317
- So where's Abbie?
I thought she was coming.
- Yeah.

369
00:25:58,121 --> 00:25:59,152
Something happened.

370
00:26:02,416 --> 00:26:03,615
We slept together.

371
00:26:05,379 --> 00:26:07,786
"Slept together" as in cuddly pj's...

372
00:26:07,922 --> 00:26:10,129
or "slept together"
as in shagged her?

373
00:26:11,217 --> 00:26:13,969
Oh, my God! You did? When?

374
00:26:14,095 --> 00:26:16,503
- About a week and a half ago.
- How was it? Was it hot?

375
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,806
"Hot"? David, you're talking
about Abbie! She's like our sister.
How could it be "hot"?

376
00:26:19,935 --> 00:26:22,306
- You're the one who nailed her.
Are you gonna do it again?
- No, of course not.

377
00:26:22,437 --> 00:26:24,809
- You did it once.
How can you be so sure?
- 'Cause it's just one of those...

378
00:26:24,940 --> 00:26:26,767
crazy things that happens once
and never again.

379
00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:30,067
Anyway, she's not talking
to me any more, nor is she
returning my phone calls...

380
00:26:30,195 --> 00:26:31,903
and it's really upsetting me.

381
00:26:32,030 --> 00:26:34,236
- You mean you would if she did?
- Would what?

382
00:26:34,365 --> 00:26:36,524
- Are you telling us
you're straight now?
- No.

383
00:26:36,660 --> 00:26:38,569
You just said you're really upset
that you couldn't bang her again.

384
00:26:38,704 --> 00:26:40,613
That's not what I said.

385
00:26:40,748 --> 00:26:42,905
Next thing he'll be combing
his hair like Donald Trump.

386
00:26:43,041 --> 00:26:44,998
Subscribing to
Victoria's Secret catalogues.

387
00:26:45,127 --> 00:26:46,704
And voting Republican.

388
00:26:48,213 --> 00:26:51,048
Praise be to Lordy,
she's been reformed.

389
00:26:51,174 --> 00:26:53,500
- Call Jerry Falwell.
- Shut up!

390
00:26:53,635 --> 00:26:55,925
- Don't call me "she."
- See?
- See?

391
00:27:15,574 --> 00:27:17,900
Hi, it's Abbie.
Leave a message.

392
00:27:19,245 --> 00:27:20,787
Abbie, pick up.

393
00:27:21,622 --> 00:27:23,080
Pick up.

394
00:27:25,042 --> 00:27:28,411
Listen, I know we crossed a line
and we shot off the main road...

395
00:27:28,546 --> 00:27:32,294
but there's no reason
why we can't climb up
the embankment and get back on track.

396
00:27:32,425 --> 00:27:34,998
We've known each other too long
to let this come between us.

397
00:27:36,429 --> 00:27:39,216
I can't do it alone.

398
00:27:39,349 --> 00:27:41,554
Please, call me. Hmm?

399
00:27:55,907 --> 00:27:57,567
- Sorry. Sorry I'm late.
- Hi.

400
00:27:57,700 --> 00:28:00,867
I know how you hate that.
Anyway, I'm starving.

401
00:28:02,246 --> 00:28:04,572
Thanks for waiting.
Can I see a menu?

402
00:28:07,877 --> 00:28:10,450
- What is that?
- What?

403
00:28:10,588 --> 00:28:13,127
- Since when do you eat meat?
- I don't.

404
00:28:15,844 --> 00:28:17,172
Oh.

405
00:28:18,180 --> 00:28:19,971
I think I'm gonna be sick.

406
00:28:20,098 --> 00:28:22,969
Well, you're obviously craving iron.
You must be getting your period.

407
00:28:23,101 --> 00:28:26,387
Annabel, my period.

408
00:28:27,731 --> 00:28:28,928
When is my period?

409
00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:34,016
- How late are you?
- Third weekend in June.

410
00:28:34,154 --> 00:28:37,854
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve...

411
00:28:37,991 --> 00:28:40,114
thirteen, fourteen...
Korean hot springs...

412
00:28:40,244 --> 00:28:43,447
fifteen, sixteen, seventeen...
Fourth of July.

413
00:28:43,580 --> 00:28:45,039
I remember that.

414
00:28:46,208 --> 00:28:49,078
- Did we drive to Matador Beach?
- Mm-hmm.

415
00:28:49,210 --> 00:28:51,916
- Did we stop?
- Uh-uh.

416
00:28:53,131 --> 00:28:56,832
No. Shit.

417
00:28:56,969 --> 00:29:00,219
Just try to remember the last time you
felt fat and ugly and suicidal.

418
00:29:01,139 --> 00:29:04,306
- What can I get for you?
- The nearest drugstore.

419
00:29:28,334 --> 00:29:30,623
So you've come crawling back.

420
00:29:30,753 --> 00:29:34,039
No. I mean, yes.

421
00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:36,166
I have something to tell you.

422
00:29:37,468 --> 00:29:40,386
- Is it good news or bad news?
- Good news, I hope.

423
00:29:40,513 --> 00:29:43,679
Good news. Good news for you,
or good news for me?

424
00:29:43,808 --> 00:29:46,559
For us, I hope.

425
00:29:48,103 --> 00:29:49,930
For us.

426
00:29:50,064 --> 00:29:52,223
Is it, uh,
bigger than a bread box?

427
00:29:53,234 --> 00:29:54,563
Not yet.

428
00:29:55,862 --> 00:29:59,147
Oh, God. Come on.
Can't you just guess?

429
00:29:59,282 --> 00:30:01,819
- Just spit it out.
- Okay.

430
00:30:01,951 --> 00:30:03,742
What's the best thing
I could tell you?

431
00:30:05,455 --> 00:30:09,405
That you've met
a fabulous guy for me.

432
00:30:09,543 --> 00:30:11,500
Ha.

433
00:30:11,628 --> 00:30:14,083
What's the next best thing?

434
00:30:15,423 --> 00:30:17,463
That we can turn back the clock.

435
00:30:19,052 --> 00:30:22,421
Nothing bad
ever happened between us...

436
00:30:25,516 --> 00:30:27,675
and that, well...

437
00:30:29,354 --> 00:30:31,311
we're best friends again.

438
00:30:32,732 --> 00:30:34,939
Hmm?

439
00:30:38,197 --> 00:30:40,236
Oh, I missed you so much.

440
00:30:42,701 --> 00:30:44,492
I'm pregnant with your baby.

441
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,877
I mean, you can't be pregnant.
We only did it once.

442
00:30:55,005 --> 00:30:58,624
- That's all it takes.
- What, eight martinis
and you're stuffed?

443
00:30:58,759 --> 00:31:02,293
- That's right.
- Wow. Doesn't take much
to crack your egg, does it?

444
00:31:03,597 --> 00:31:06,302
You don't have to make
a decision right now...

445
00:31:06,433 --> 00:31:09,268
but I've made up my mind
that I'm having this baby...

446
00:31:09,394 --> 00:31:12,479
and you can be involved as much
or as little as you like.

447
00:31:12,606 --> 00:31:14,765
Well, I can't very well
not be involved.

448
00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:19,277
I mean, it's not like I suddenly can
stop knowing you or something, can I?

449
00:31:19,404 --> 00:31:21,528
Can I? Ow!

450
00:31:21,657 --> 00:31:24,444
Come on, Robert.
I'm offering you a choice.

451
00:31:24,576 --> 00:31:28,195
You can be the baby's father,
or you can be the baby's uncle.

452
00:31:28,330 --> 00:31:31,117
I want you to be the father.

453
00:31:31,250 --> 00:31:33,326
We could do this, Robert.
I know we could.

454
00:31:33,461 --> 00:31:36,414
- What about if I...
- Please?

455
00:31:36,547 --> 00:31:37,958
Just think about it.

456
00:31:47,891 --> 00:31:50,893
Here, Dad, catch this!
Catch!

457
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,860
Hey, look at you. Let's give you
a little wipey-wipe, huh?

458
00:32:04,409 --> 00:32:06,448
Oh! Not again.

459
00:32:11,707 --> 00:32:14,543
I'm just saying if you stuck
to gin and tonic, it wouldn't stain.

460
00:32:14,670 --> 00:32:17,421
- Hi. There he is.
- I cannot abide gin and tonic,
and you know it.

461
00:32:17,547 --> 00:32:19,505
- Oh, it's him.
- Back to the baggage...

462
00:32:19,633 --> 00:32:22,550
- Hello.
- Mum.
- Oh, darling. Oh.

463
00:32:22,677 --> 00:32:25,382
- What happened?
- Oh, nothing. Daddy had
a little accident.

464
00:32:25,513 --> 00:32:27,921
- It was the air waitress
that had the accident.
- We'll get the jacket cleaned, darling.

465
00:32:28,058 --> 00:32:30,809
- I just happened to be conveniently
located directly under her.
- Six hours of hell. How are you?

466
00:32:30,936 --> 00:32:33,687
- I'm fine.
- You look a little thin.
- I'm not thin. Come on. Let's go.

467
00:32:33,813 --> 00:32:36,387
- Thank you for shaving.
- I did shave.

468
00:32:36,525 --> 00:32:38,067
Of course you shaved.
You look gorgeous.

469
00:32:38,193 --> 00:32:40,980
- Attention, travellers.: You are not...
- Hey, get, get, get, get outta there!

470
00:32:41,113 --> 00:32:44,197
- How's the gardening world?
- Fine, thanks.

471
00:32:44,324 --> 00:32:47,658
- Darling, you're miles away.
- I've stuff on my mind. I'm sorry.

472
00:32:47,786 --> 00:32:49,909
How's your friend Abbie?

473
00:32:50,039 --> 00:32:52,874
- She's fine.
- How's her love life?

474
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,040
Well, as a matter of fact,
she's, uh, pregnant.

475
00:32:55,169 --> 00:32:57,291
- No. When did she get married?
- She didn't.

476
00:32:57,421 --> 00:32:59,627
Who's the father?

477
00:32:59,757 --> 00:33:01,833
Actually, it's, uh, me.

478
00:33:03,427 --> 00:33:06,594
Abbie is pregnant with my child
and your grandchild.

479
00:33:06,722 --> 00:33:10,091
Is she? Really?

480
00:33:10,226 --> 00:33:11,934
- Do you mean it was all a joke?
- What?

481
00:33:12,061 --> 00:33:15,062
- You're not really queer?
- Shh. Lower your voice to a shriek.

482
00:33:15,189 --> 00:33:17,228
Of course I'm queer. It's just
that I'm having a baby as well.

483
00:33:17,357 --> 00:33:19,730
- I'm confused.
- Well, I'm not.

484
00:33:19,860 --> 00:33:22,149
You're going to make
a laughing stock of the family.

485
00:33:22,279 --> 00:33:25,067
- Child needs a role model,
someone to look up to.
- Well, I'll wear heels.

486
00:33:26,450 --> 00:33:29,071
If you were younger,
I'd take you over my knee...

487
00:33:29,203 --> 00:33:31,445
and thrash
the living daylights out of you.

488
00:33:31,580 --> 00:33:33,988
I think you mean
if you were younger, Dad.

489
00:33:35,418 --> 00:33:37,576
I'm getting a taxi.
I'll see you at the hotel.

490
00:33:39,380 --> 00:33:41,456
Oh, God, he's a bore, isn't he?

491
00:33:43,217 --> 00:33:44,711
Thank goodness you're here.

492
00:33:47,472 --> 00:33:50,675
- I just don't know
if I can do it or not.
- Well, no one's ever ready for a baby.

493
00:33:50,809 --> 00:33:55,435
But I'll tell you one thing: having
a child is the best thing in the world.

494
00:33:55,563 --> 00:33:58,101
It stops you from worrying
about yourself.

495
00:33:58,232 --> 00:34:00,190
There's something more important
than you in the world...

496
00:34:00,318 --> 00:34:02,109
and that's such a relief
in the end.

497
00:34:02,237 --> 00:34:06,021
I don't know. It just seems like
such a huge responsibility
to take on overnight.

498
00:34:06,157 --> 00:34:09,941
It's an opportunity that's come up.
It won't come up again.

499
00:34:11,245 --> 00:34:13,238
I can't tell you to do it,
but I can tell you...

500
00:34:13,373 --> 00:34:15,911
think very carefully
before you don't do it.

501
00:34:16,043 --> 00:34:18,580
Having you is the best thing
that ever happened to me.

502
00:34:18,711 --> 00:34:20,254
- Oh, Mum.
- Even though you've been...

503
00:34:20,380 --> 00:34:22,289
an enormous disappointment
in many ways.

504
00:34:22,424 --> 00:34:24,748
- Mum.
- Well, you have.

505
00:34:24,884 --> 00:34:27,210
But you're you.
I adore you.

506
00:34:30,265 --> 00:34:31,179
Darling, careful.

507
00:34:46,073 --> 00:34:47,531
Abbie?

508
00:34:51,036 --> 00:34:52,364
I'll do it.

509
00:34:53,329 --> 00:34:55,369
I want to be the father
of our baby.

510
00:34:57,334 --> 00:34:59,410
- Are you sure?
- Yes.

511
00:35:01,130 --> 00:35:04,083
I don't want to do it halfway. I want
to do it all the way or not at all.

512
00:35:04,216 --> 00:35:07,383
I don't want to be
some gay uncle...

513
00:35:07,511 --> 00:35:10,844
who lives on the other side
of the tracks with his roommate Bruce...

514
00:35:10,973 --> 00:35:12,930
who no one's supposed to talk to.

515
00:35:14,727 --> 00:35:18,476
I want to be the baby's father,
forever and always.

516
00:35:20,274 --> 00:35:22,313
One more thing.

517
00:35:23,986 --> 00:35:25,396
I can't be a husband.

518
00:35:27,907 --> 00:35:30,824
You just have to be a father...

519
00:35:30,951 --> 00:35:32,031
and a friend.

520
00:35:34,789 --> 00:35:37,114
- You what?
- Robert Robert?

521
00:35:37,249 --> 00:35:40,001
- Gay Robert Robert?
- He just goes by Robert now.

522
00:35:40,128 --> 00:35:42,167
- You are outrageous.
- I would not kick him out of bed.

523
00:35:42,296 --> 00:35:44,538
He definitely falls into
the "what a waste" category.

524
00:35:44,674 --> 00:35:46,168
- Totally.
- So what was it like?

525
00:35:46,300 --> 00:35:48,507
- Did he rise to the occasion?
- Obviously he did.

526
00:35:48,636 --> 00:35:51,720
Hey, could we move past the sex part
and get onto the now part?

527
00:35:51,848 --> 00:35:54,802
- I'm having a baby.
- Oh, Abbie, that is so great.
- That is cool.

528
00:35:54,934 --> 00:35:57,721
- It's tough being
a single parent, Abbie.
- I'm not gonna be a single parent.

529
00:35:57,853 --> 00:35:59,727
- What?
- Robert's moving in with me...

530
00:35:59,856 --> 00:36:01,564
and we're gonna raise
the baby together.

531
00:36:01,691 --> 00:36:05,226
- Are you sure you know
what you're doing?
- Look, Robert is the
most incredible man...

532
00:36:05,361 --> 00:36:06,820
- I've ever met...
- Right.
- True.

533
00:36:06,946 --> 00:36:08,904
and he's hung in there
when my boyfriends haven't.

534
00:36:09,032 --> 00:36:10,146
That's true.

535
00:36:10,283 --> 00:36:12,820
And we're always gonna love each other
and be in each other's lives...

536
00:36:12,952 --> 00:36:16,535
and we're never getting married,
so we can't get divorced.

537
00:36:16,664 --> 00:36:18,953
You know, there's a certain
crazy logic to this...

538
00:36:19,084 --> 00:36:20,827
and Robert will do
everything a husband will do.

539
00:36:20,961 --> 00:36:22,538
- Exactly.
- Including not sleep with you.

540
00:36:22,671 --> 00:36:25,506
Yes, but I won't be
bitter and resentful about it.

541
00:36:25,632 --> 00:36:28,336
- Well, at least the kid
will be gorgeous.
- Oh, no doubt.

542
00:36:28,468 --> 00:36:30,211
- Will he be gay?
- Kelly!

543
00:36:30,345 --> 00:36:31,804
- What?
- Come on.
- Come on.

544
00:36:31,930 --> 00:36:34,931
My God. Will your kids
be stupid?

545
00:36:38,770 --> 00:36:41,262
- Good to have you here, David.
- Make yourself at home.

546
00:36:41,397 --> 00:36:43,474
Anything you need,
just let us know.

547
00:36:43,608 --> 00:36:44,723
Okay. Thanks.

548
00:36:47,154 --> 00:36:50,154
- I feel like such an asshole.
- Why?

549
00:36:50,282 --> 00:36:52,856
Because, if Joe's parents
hadn't kicked me out
and I didn't need this place...

550
00:36:52,993 --> 00:36:54,322
I wouldn't be helping you move out.

551
00:36:54,453 --> 00:36:56,860
- I'd be making a stand.
- Against what?

552
00:36:56,997 --> 00:36:59,155
Against this insane decision
that you're making, Robert.

553
00:36:59,291 --> 00:37:01,331
This is ridiculous.
You're gonna be miserable.

554
00:37:01,460 --> 00:37:04,212
Have you thought about
all the details, like your sex life?

555
00:37:04,338 --> 00:37:05,915
- Are you gonna even have one?
- Listen.

556
00:37:06,048 --> 00:37:09,168
If I was straight, and I turned gay,
you'd be thrilled.

557
00:37:09,301 --> 00:37:11,839
But the fact that I'm having
a baby with a woman... Uhh!

558
00:37:11,970 --> 00:37:14,676
That's blowing your mind, David.
That's such a double standard.

559
00:37:14,807 --> 00:37:17,642
Oh, so your biological time clock
is ticking. That's it.

560
00:37:17,768 --> 00:37:19,476
- No, that is not it.
- Yeah.

561
00:37:19,603 --> 00:37:22,272
Actually, you know what?
I'm just bored of it all.

562
00:37:22,398 --> 00:37:24,437
I'm bored of the parties,
I'm bored of the drugs...

563
00:37:24,567 --> 00:37:26,227
I'm bored of the body obsession.

564
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,851
I'm not in a relationship.
I don't see one coming, and it happened.

565
00:37:28,987 --> 00:37:31,313
It's not a sacrifice, you know.
It's an opportunity.

566
00:37:33,368 --> 00:37:35,739
I do love Abbie.
I trust her.

567
00:37:37,663 --> 00:37:40,498
And here comes a baby that's gonna be
part of our lives forever.

568
00:37:42,459 --> 00:37:44,749
And what happens
when you do meet Mr Right?

569
00:37:45,462 --> 00:37:47,954
I'll cross that bridge
when I get to it.

570
00:37:48,090 --> 00:37:50,498
You'll burn that bridge
when you get to it.

571
00:37:51,845 --> 00:37:54,382
To stay

572
00:37:57,100 --> 00:38:01,845
- You come to me
- Come to me

573
00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:04,019
- Come back to me
- Rather you than me.

574
00:38:06,192 --> 00:38:10,818
Let me see.
Oh, don't show me any more.

575
00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:17,905
It just kicked.

576
00:38:27,630 --> 00:38:29,338
- Look at this.
- Yea!

577
00:38:36,389 --> 00:38:39,059
- Thanks a lot, you guys.
- That bottle is huge.

578
00:38:39,184 --> 00:38:42,138
Attention! Attention, attention.

579
00:38:42,271 --> 00:38:45,271
First of all, I would really
like to welcome all of you...

580
00:38:45,399 --> 00:38:49,231
to our home on this very,
very special occasion.

581
00:38:49,361 --> 00:38:51,733
You know, some people...
and I know I have been one of them...

582
00:38:51,863 --> 00:38:55,315
have suggested that this was
an unexpected move on both your parts.

583
00:38:56,868 --> 00:38:58,826
Personally,
I thought it was deranged.

584
00:39:00,205 --> 00:39:02,697
It's just that you see all of these
young couples sporting around town...

585
00:39:02,833 --> 00:39:05,121
in their suburban
assault vehicles...

586
00:39:05,252 --> 00:39:08,870
a Frappucino in one hand, a rug rat
and a wet diaper in the other.

587
00:39:10,215 --> 00:39:13,085
There but for the grace of God...

588
00:39:13,218 --> 00:39:16,089
- And who needs sleep anyway?
- Exactly.

589
00:39:16,222 --> 00:39:18,546
And you can kiss
your upholstery goodbye.

590
00:39:18,682 --> 00:39:20,971
- Thanks a lot, Annabel.
- The world out there...

591
00:39:21,102 --> 00:39:23,509
does not always support
families that are different...

592
00:39:23,645 --> 00:39:27,774
but as I look
at the two of you now...

593
00:39:27,900 --> 00:39:30,391
two of the most generous,
attractive...

594
00:39:30,527 --> 00:39:33,233
And cattiest monsters we know.

595
00:39:34,323 --> 00:39:38,403
And I see all of this love
and warmth and joy, and...

596
00:39:39,662 --> 00:39:41,702
I think Abbie has something
she'd like to say.

597
00:39:41,830 --> 00:39:43,409
Oh!

598
00:39:43,540 --> 00:39:46,412
Give me every drug you've got!

599
00:39:52,216 --> 00:39:54,790
- Here's Sam dressed as Krishna.
- Little gender bender.

600
00:39:54,928 --> 00:39:57,216
He really didn't go
for all the jewellery.

601
00:39:57,346 --> 00:39:59,553
- Look at him.
- Isn't that sweet.
- Look at that.

602
00:40:01,559 --> 00:40:04,264
Look at the two studs.

603
00:40:04,395 --> 00:40:06,803
- Happy New Year.
- This one's gorgeous.

604
00:40:06,940 --> 00:40:08,648
Yeah.

605
00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:11,444
- Hey, Happy New Year.
- Hi, guys. You having fun?

606
00:40:11,569 --> 00:40:13,313
- Hello, ladies.
- Happy New Year.

607
00:40:13,446 --> 00:40:15,238
- Hi. Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.

608
00:40:15,365 --> 00:40:17,157
- Say Happy...
Did you say Happy New Year?
- Yes, I did.

609
00:40:17,283 --> 00:40:19,821
- All right.
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year!

610
00:40:19,953 --> 00:40:23,322
- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year!
- What's up, Sammy?

611
00:40:23,456 --> 00:40:25,248
Hey, Happy New Year!

612
00:40:29,003 --> 00:40:31,577
- Happy New Year.
- Cheers.

613
00:40:31,715 --> 00:40:33,754
Hands above your head.

614
00:40:35,469 --> 00:40:38,553
Look at your thumbs.
Hands to your chest.

615
00:40:46,772 --> 00:40:48,895
I need champ...
Who needs champagne?

616
00:40:54,404 --> 00:40:56,729
I got, got, got, got you.

617
00:40:58,533 --> 00:41:01,819
Sam, why aren't you
at your own party?

618
00:41:03,664 --> 00:41:07,163
- Dad, am I stupid?
- No. Who told you that?

619
00:41:08,377 --> 00:41:12,077
Jamie Rappaport. He said yoga
was stupid and I was stupid...

620
00:41:12,214 --> 00:41:14,421
and he's taking back
my Christmas present.

621
00:41:14,549 --> 00:41:17,504
That's horrible. You know what I do
when people call me stupid?

622
00:41:17,636 --> 00:41:19,261
I just put up a window.

623
00:41:19,388 --> 00:41:21,546
I get in the car,
I do up the seat belt...

624
00:41:21,682 --> 00:41:23,721
and I roll up the window
and I say, "Window.

625
00:41:23,851 --> 00:41:25,974
I can see you,
but I can't hear you."

626
00:41:26,103 --> 00:41:28,226
Okay, we're gonna do a little test.

627
00:41:28,355 --> 00:41:31,522
- Call me a stupid jerk. Go on.
- You're a stupid jerk.

628
00:41:31,650 --> 00:41:35,149
Window. I can see you,
but I can't hear you.

629
00:41:35,279 --> 00:41:36,654
Now I'm gonna call you something.

630
00:41:36,780 --> 00:41:38,239
You are...

631
00:41:40,785 --> 00:41:42,824
the worst Nintendo player
on the planet!

632
00:41:42,954 --> 00:41:45,029
Window.
Doesn't bother me a bit.

633
00:41:46,332 --> 00:41:48,704
- I love you so much.
- I can't hear you.

634
00:41:48,834 --> 00:41:51,504
- Love you, Sam!
- Window.

635
00:41:56,092 --> 00:41:59,009
Who's that really cute guy?

636
00:41:59,136 --> 00:42:01,176
That's Robert's cardiologist.

637
00:42:01,306 --> 00:42:03,879
Oh, my God. Does Robert
have a problem with his heart?

638
00:42:05,226 --> 00:42:07,302
- Stupid.
- Kelly!

639
00:42:20,950 --> 00:42:23,157
- D-Darling!
- Mum.

640
00:42:24,329 --> 00:42:26,368
Oh, don't do that.

641
00:42:27,540 --> 00:42:30,790
- I was getting worried about you.
- Well, I, um... I.. I brought a surprise.

642
00:42:30,918 --> 00:42:34,453
What?

643
00:42:34,589 --> 00:42:36,748
- Hi, Dad.
- Hello.

644
00:42:37,801 --> 00:42:41,134
Is that a, uh, cricket bat in your hand,
or are you just pleased to see me?

645
00:42:43,098 --> 00:42:45,138
- What?
- Only kidding.

646
00:42:45,267 --> 00:42:47,971
- None of that, darling. If you knew
what I went through to get him here.
- Hello, Mary.

647
00:42:48,103 --> 00:42:50,060
I've gone grey overnight.

648
00:42:50,188 --> 00:42:52,312
- Podgy!
- Sam.
- Podgy, darling!

649
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,682
- Hey, Grandma.
- Come on.

650
00:42:55,944 --> 00:42:57,273
Hello, darling.

651
00:42:58,655 --> 00:43:01,490
- Listen, you remember that gloomy
old grandpa I told you about...
- Yeah.

652
00:43:01,616 --> 00:43:03,574
- who only came out at night?
- Yeah.

653
00:43:03,702 --> 00:43:05,077
Well, he's here.

654
00:43:06,246 --> 00:43:08,405
Some smelling salts!

655
00:43:08,540 --> 00:43:10,866
Smelling salts!

656
00:43:11,001 --> 00:43:13,788
- He loves to faint.
- Grandma, why aren't you
fainting with me?

657
00:43:13,921 --> 00:43:16,246
Oh, well, well...
Darling, take my G and T.

658
00:43:20,803 --> 00:43:23,128
Come on, Grandpa.
You fake too. Come on.

659
00:43:23,263 --> 00:43:26,217
Get more enthusiasm.
Gestures are better, darling.

660
00:43:26,350 --> 00:43:29,387
Little... Yeah, that's it.
Go on. Give him a hug and a kiss.

661
00:43:29,519 --> 00:43:31,596
There we are. Go on.
There we are.

662
00:43:31,730 --> 00:43:34,019
Careful of his tummy.
Careful.

663
00:43:34,150 --> 00:43:36,188
Oh... Yes, yes, thank you.

664
00:43:36,318 --> 00:43:38,192
Robert.

665
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,026
- Comin' over later?
- I'll try.

666
00:43:44,327 --> 00:43:46,817
- Bye-bye. See you next Thursday.
- I hope so.

667
00:43:49,457 --> 00:43:51,994
- So who lives in this room?
- My dad.

668
00:43:52,126 --> 00:43:53,917
- How come? Was he bad?
- No.

669
00:43:54,045 --> 00:43:56,251
Well, then why doesn't he sleep
in the same room as your mom?

670
00:43:56,381 --> 00:43:57,661
Well, he's supposed to...

671
00:43:57,799 --> 00:44:00,336
or he could sleep
in a different house, like my dad.

672
00:44:00,468 --> 00:44:02,544
- Huh?
- He doesn't sleep with his mother...

673
00:44:02,679 --> 00:44:04,967
because Sam's dad is a fag.

674
00:44:05,097 --> 00:44:07,054
- A what?
- Faggot.

675
00:44:07,183 --> 00:44:09,805
You're supposed to say
"same sex partner."

676
00:44:09,935 --> 00:44:13,850
I know what a faggot is.
That's what my dad calls someone
who cuts him off in traffic.

677
00:44:16,610 --> 00:44:19,610
- I don't wanna go to bed.
- Too bad.

678
00:44:21,489 --> 00:44:23,528
- Window.
- Double window.

679
00:44:28,830 --> 00:44:30,454
Now, then, mister.

680
00:44:34,836 --> 00:44:37,790
- Why don't you sleep in Mommy's room?
- What?

681
00:44:37,923 --> 00:44:41,339
- Don't you love her?
- Of course I love her.

682
00:44:41,468 --> 00:44:44,801
You know why I don't sleep with her?
'Cause she snores.

683
00:44:44,930 --> 00:44:46,887
She snores like a great big
old helicopter taking off.

684
00:44:48,933 --> 00:44:52,267
That's why I sleep in my own room. Any
other questions, Mr Sam, Mr Detective?

685
00:44:52,395 --> 00:44:54,518
Can I have a brother
for my birthday?

686
00:44:56,566 --> 00:44:58,226
You have to ask Mommy.

687
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,732
- Okay.
- Okay?

688
00:45:00,862 --> 00:45:02,819
Good night. Sleep well.

689
00:45:12,374 --> 00:45:14,948
Your son's starting to ask
a lot of questions.

690
00:45:15,085 --> 00:45:17,754
He knows too much.
We must get rid of him.

691
00:45:17,879 --> 00:45:21,747
Seriously, Robert.
It's only the beginning
of a lot more questions like that...

692
00:45:21,884 --> 00:45:24,374
and we have to figure out
what we're gonna say.

693
00:45:24,511 --> 00:45:28,010
We will figure it out. Can't it wait
till tomorrow? I'm going out.

694
00:45:29,183 --> 00:45:32,267
Is seeing the cardiologist right now
more important than your son?

695
00:45:32,395 --> 00:45:35,894
My son is more important than breakfast,
lunch, tea and dinner.

696
00:45:36,023 --> 00:45:39,438
Doesn't mean I still don't
have to eat sometime. You should
be doing the same thing.

697
00:45:39,568 --> 00:45:42,653
- I eat.
- Men call you.
Go out with one of them.

698
00:45:46,867 --> 00:45:50,402
- Keeps your hinges from rusting.
- Contrary to what you might think...

699
00:45:50,538 --> 00:45:53,207
I'm not a queen
trapped in a woman's body.

700
00:45:53,332 --> 00:45:57,116
- Really?
- You think everyone wants to have sex.

701
00:45:57,253 --> 00:46:00,088
I don't want to have sex.
I'm over it.

702
00:46:00,214 --> 00:46:03,381
- I'm perfectly happy right here
in my own backyard.
- Really?

703
00:46:03,509 --> 00:46:05,632
And I'm not gonna feel guilty
'cause you feel guilty...

704
00:46:05,762 --> 00:46:08,133
- 'cause you're going out
and having fun and I'm...
- Not.

705
00:46:10,057 --> 00:46:12,465
You aren't just a mother, Abbie.
You're a beautiful woman.

706
00:46:12,602 --> 00:46:14,559
Don't sell yourself short.

707
00:46:18,024 --> 00:46:19,400
Bye.

708
00:46:26,241 --> 00:46:27,569
1989.

709
00:46:29,786 --> 00:46:31,411
1999.

710
00:46:34,207 --> 00:46:35,535
1989.

711
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:40,331
1999.

712
00:46:46,595 --> 00:46:48,634
Dear God, wherever You are...

713
00:46:48,763 --> 00:46:50,803
could You please hook me up?

714
00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:17,121
- Just sleep, for God's sakes.
- I can't.

715
00:47:18,835 --> 00:47:20,911
Being with you
is like being with a hologram.

716
00:47:22,255 --> 00:47:24,663
You're there,
but you're not there.

717
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,635
I'm sorry.
Just got stuff on my mind.

718
00:47:27,761 --> 00:47:30,715
Sam's starting a new school next week,
and I feel like it's me going.

719
00:47:30,847 --> 00:47:34,050
I'm so nervous.
Can't think of anything else.

720
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:37,933
- Isn't that weird?
- No. It's frustrating.

721
00:47:38,063 --> 00:47:40,850
Sometimes I feel like you
don't care about anything else.

722
00:47:45,821 --> 00:47:47,150
Damn.

723
00:47:54,788 --> 00:47:56,865
I have to go to the hospital.

724
00:48:01,044 --> 00:48:03,501
I like you a lot, Robert.

725
00:48:04,299 --> 00:48:07,335
I like you too,
o doctor of the heart.

726
00:48:07,469 --> 00:48:10,220
But it's never gonna work.

727
00:48:10,346 --> 00:48:14,214
'Cause I want more. With you
it's like crashing into a brick wall.

728
00:48:14,351 --> 00:48:16,722
- You just don't give a damn inch.
- 'Cause I don't want to get serious.

729
00:48:16,853 --> 00:48:20,304
I told you. Sam is everything
to me. I haven't got time
for anything else right now.

730
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:22,977
- I told you this on day one.
- I know. Calm down.

731
00:48:23,109 --> 00:48:25,148
It's just we're getting repetitive.

732
00:48:26,988 --> 00:48:29,028
Maybe we should just move on then.

733
00:48:31,284 --> 00:48:33,739
I gotta go. Uh...

734
00:48:33,870 --> 00:48:35,910
Stay. Don't stay.

735
00:48:37,290 --> 00:48:38,618
Love you.

736
00:48:40,543 --> 00:48:41,918
Hate you.

737
00:48:56,435 --> 00:48:58,759
I know that you're
in love with him

738
00:48:58,895 --> 00:49:01,648
'Cause I saw you dancing
in the gym

739
00:49:01,773 --> 00:49:03,896
You both kicked off your shoes

740
00:49:04,025 --> 00:49:06,647
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues

741
00:49:07,905 --> 00:49:10,822
I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I...

742
00:49:10,949 --> 00:49:13,025
- Not on the part you like, Sammy.
- What's going on in here?

743
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:17,988
- You barbarian.
- Daddy, get Mommy a cup of coffee.

744
00:49:18,123 --> 00:49:20,411
- Please?
- Please, Daddy?

745
00:49:20,542 --> 00:49:22,499
Yes, Mommy dearest.

746
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:25,462
Give me a kiss, Sam.

747
00:49:27,758 --> 00:49:30,166
- Did you sleep good?
- Yeah.

748
00:49:30,303 --> 00:49:32,128
You're too kind.

749
00:49:32,262 --> 00:49:33,757
- Daddy?
- Hmm?

750
00:49:33,889 --> 00:49:35,265
Are you a faggot?

751
00:49:37,059 --> 00:49:39,764
- What?
- And yesterday he was only five.

752
00:49:41,313 --> 00:49:43,852
Sam, where did you learn
a word like that?

753
00:49:43,982 --> 00:49:47,103
- Kyle told it to me.
- Did Kyle tell you what it means?

754
00:49:48,237 --> 00:49:49,399
Yeah.

755
00:49:50,281 --> 00:49:51,906
Well, what is it?

756
00:49:52,866 --> 00:49:55,488
It's when two boys kiss
and they go to the opera.

757
00:49:56,328 --> 00:49:57,609
Oh. Well...

758
00:49:58,831 --> 00:50:00,491
Yes and no.

759
00:50:00,625 --> 00:50:03,661
But, you know, the point here,
Sam, is that the word "faggot"...

760
00:50:03,795 --> 00:50:06,250
is a mean word
that mean people use...

761
00:50:06,380 --> 00:50:08,456
when they don't want to accept
people who are different from them.

762
00:50:08,591 --> 00:50:12,043
Right, and we are not
meanie buckets in this house, are we?

763
00:50:12,178 --> 00:50:14,218
- Nope.
- Right.

764
00:50:18,309 --> 00:50:22,354
- Major Lady to Major Dad.
- It's Ground Control to Major Lady.

765
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,437
Come in, please, Major Lady.
Come in, please.

766
00:50:24,565 --> 00:50:27,851
I'm on your tail.
I'm going to shoot now.

767
00:50:29,029 --> 00:50:32,398
- Major Lady to Major Dad.
- Major Lady, you're being tailed.

768
00:50:33,241 --> 00:50:35,697
"Back and forth across the pasture
with the tractor.

769
00:50:35,827 --> 00:50:38,614
Finally it was so close that Abigail
popped into the burrow...

770
00:50:38,747 --> 00:50:40,786
- and scurried down to her baby's nest."
- Read it the other way.

771
00:50:40,916 --> 00:50:43,287
Oh. I don't like this way.

772
00:50:47,422 --> 00:50:49,462
"Miss Demeanour had a new set...

773
00:50:49,591 --> 00:50:51,998
of long, shiny black fingernails...

774
00:50:52,135 --> 00:50:56,383
and she was picking an enormous,
giant-sized purple booger...

775
00:50:56,514 --> 00:50:58,258
from her left nostril.

776
00:50:58,391 --> 00:51:01,558
'Mm. That looks like dinner
for a family of five'...

777
00:51:01,686 --> 00:51:04,522
said Princess Tiny fuse as she got out
her kitchen knife...

778
00:51:04,648 --> 00:51:07,269
and cut it into small slices
and put it into a frying pan."

779
00:51:23,834 --> 00:51:25,873
Hey, little man.

780
00:51:26,003 --> 00:51:30,166
Set it here, take your shoes off,
and help yourself to some herbal tea.

781
00:51:30,298 --> 00:51:32,671
Does this place have Stair Masters
or treadmills?

782
00:51:32,801 --> 00:51:34,593
This is a yoga centre.

783
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:37,341
- Yoga classes only.
- Oh, so no free weights?

784
00:51:37,473 --> 00:51:39,299
- I'll call you back.
- You should do yoga.

785
00:51:39,433 --> 00:51:41,722
- It reduces your stress.
- Oh, yeah?

786
00:51:41,853 --> 00:51:44,557
- Where'd you get this guy?
- He's my son...

787
00:51:44,688 --> 00:51:46,728
and he was doing yoga
before he was born.

788
00:51:46,858 --> 00:51:48,896
- Yeah, it's easy.
- I don't know, see...

789
00:51:49,026 --> 00:51:52,145
'cause I'm more the "half-hour
free weights, little bit of steam"
kind of guy.

790
00:51:52,279 --> 00:51:54,236
I'm not really the yoga type.

791
00:51:54,365 --> 00:51:55,645
Chicken.

792
00:51:55,783 --> 00:51:59,116
Sam, honey, go easy
on the hard sell.

793
00:51:59,244 --> 00:52:02,364
This guy obviously
wants to "feel the burn."

794
00:52:02,498 --> 00:52:05,997
- There's a gym for "mirror athletes"
half a mile that-a-way.
- All right, now hold on.

795
00:52:06,127 --> 00:52:08,084
Wait a minute.
I've got an open mind.

796
00:52:08,212 --> 00:52:10,289
I mean, I don't know
if I can do the splits, but...

797
00:52:10,423 --> 00:52:14,467
I'm teaching a class in ten minutes.
I promise to go easy on you.

798
00:52:18,807 --> 00:52:20,550
Hands together
in prayer position.

799
00:52:20,684 --> 00:52:21,928
Feet together.

800
00:52:42,581 --> 00:52:46,329
Inhale, look up,
gazing at your fingertips.

801
00:52:46,459 --> 00:52:48,535
Exhale, palms to the floor.

802
00:52:50,046 --> 00:52:52,253
Inhale, look up.

803
00:52:52,382 --> 00:52:56,165
Exhale.Jump back
to Chaturanga position.

804
00:52:56,302 --> 00:53:00,764
Keep your elbows close to your side,
pointing your toes, shoulders back.

805
00:53:00,891 --> 00:53:02,966
Exhale.
Push back into down dog.

806
00:53:03,977 --> 00:53:06,550
- Sink your heels into the floor...
- Psst.

807
00:53:06,688 --> 00:53:08,895
- gazing at your navel.
- How am I doin'?

808
00:53:09,024 --> 00:53:12,025
You're doing good.
Just remember, it's a process.

809
00:53:12,152 --> 00:53:15,069
You don't have to be perfect.

810
00:53:15,197 --> 00:53:17,236
Sink your heels into the floor...

811
00:53:18,241 --> 00:53:19,701
gazing at your navel.

812
00:53:21,536 --> 00:53:23,115
Don't forget to breathe.

813
00:53:24,623 --> 00:53:27,494
Ow! Was that good?

814
00:53:27,626 --> 00:53:29,453
That's very good.

815
00:53:29,587 --> 00:53:31,625
You don't have to overdo it
in the first class.

816
00:53:31,755 --> 00:53:33,961
I'm not overdoing it.
It's a piece of cake.

817
00:53:36,260 --> 00:53:38,335
Inhale, look up.
Jump forward.

818
00:53:40,055 --> 00:53:42,593
Inhale, stand up.
Arms up over your head.

819
00:53:42,725 --> 00:53:45,132
Whoa. Stood up too fast.

820
00:53:45,268 --> 00:53:46,680
Mm-hmm.

821
00:53:46,812 --> 00:53:49,054
Right hand grabs
the right big toe.

822
00:53:49,189 --> 00:53:53,768
Extend the right leg.
Inhale, look up.

823
00:53:53,902 --> 00:53:56,358
Exhale.
Bring your nose to your knee.

824
00:53:56,489 --> 00:53:57,769
Breathe.

825
00:54:00,367 --> 00:54:03,073
- Straighten your standing leg.
- I'm tryin'.

826
00:54:04,288 --> 00:54:05,830
Breathe!

827
00:54:05,956 --> 00:54:08,364
I'm breathin', kid.
I am breathin'.

828
00:54:09,836 --> 00:54:13,086
Exhale.
Open the leg to the side...

829
00:54:13,214 --> 00:54:15,088
gazing to the left.

830
00:54:16,968 --> 00:54:17,963
Oh!

831
00:54:19,178 --> 00:54:20,720
Sorry, pal.

832
00:54:24,976 --> 00:54:27,016
It's all levels,
beginners through advanced.

833
00:54:27,145 --> 00:54:28,140
Thank you.

834
00:54:28,271 --> 00:54:30,560
- See you on Monday.
- Okay.
- Bye.

835
00:54:30,689 --> 00:54:32,729
- You okay?
- Well, check with me tomorrow.

836
00:54:34,235 --> 00:54:36,311
Beginners are Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays at 10:00...

837
00:54:36,446 --> 00:54:39,067
Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11:00
and Sundays at 9:00.

838
00:54:39,198 --> 00:54:41,606
- Well, how 'bout tonight at 8:00?
- Excuse me?

839
00:54:43,161 --> 00:54:44,323
Let's have dinner.

840
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:54,580
Are you asking me out on a date?

841
00:54:54,714 --> 00:54:57,040
Yeah. Is that all right?

842
00:54:59,677 --> 00:55:01,421
Hold on a second.

843
00:55:05,308 --> 00:55:07,681
- How do you know I'm not married?
- Well, are you?

844
00:55:07,810 --> 00:55:10,100
No, but I still
don't know you.

845
00:55:10,230 --> 00:55:13,681
Well, I don't know you either,
but that's sort of the point
of the date, right?

846
00:55:13,817 --> 00:55:16,224
I mean, you do eat, right?
It's just dinner.

847
00:55:16,361 --> 00:55:21,071
Yeah, I eat. I just haven't
been dating much recently.

848
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:24,035
Okay. So we'll eat, we'll have
some light conversation...

849
00:55:24,161 --> 00:55:28,241
a few awkward silences, wine optional,
but definitely no dating.

850
00:55:28,373 --> 00:55:30,746
No dating.

851
00:55:30,876 --> 00:55:33,117
So, how does that sound?

852
00:55:33,253 --> 00:55:34,629
Sounds manageable.

853
00:55:37,299 --> 00:55:39,506
- We're home!
- Hey!
- Dad, we finally made it!

854
00:55:39,635 --> 00:55:41,010
Hey! Oh!

855
00:55:41,137 --> 00:55:44,588
- Hi. Sorry I'm late.
Traffic was insane.
- Well...

856
00:55:44,724 --> 00:55:46,597
it's not quite burned, luckily.

857
00:55:46,725 --> 00:55:49,098
Listen, do you mind if I don't
stay for dinner tonight?

858
00:55:49,228 --> 00:55:50,852
- But it's roast beef night.
- Yuck!

859
00:55:50,980 --> 00:55:53,187
You're supposed to say roast "beast."

860
00:55:53,315 --> 00:55:55,438
Listen, tell Kelly
to get rid of that guy.

861
00:55:55,567 --> 00:55:58,402
- Tell her to lose the loser.
- I'm not having dinner with Kelly.

862
00:55:58,529 --> 00:56:01,980
Sam, honey, go upstairs
and wash your hands. And your face.

863
00:56:03,159 --> 00:56:04,784
- I have a date.
- What?

864
00:56:04,911 --> 00:56:06,405
- I have a date.
- No.

865
00:56:06,537 --> 00:56:08,329
- Yes.
- Who with?

866
00:56:08,455 --> 00:56:11,824
Ben Cooper, investment banker,
New York. Whoo!

867
00:56:11,959 --> 00:56:13,916
Whoo! Whoo!

868
00:56:14,044 --> 00:56:15,836
Cor. What's he doing in L.A.?

869
00:56:15,963 --> 00:56:18,122
I don't know. He's working
on some kind of a takeover.

870
00:56:18,258 --> 00:56:22,504
Takeover? Don't like the sound
of that. Is he attractive?

871
00:56:22,637 --> 00:56:25,307
- So our type.
- Which our type?

872
00:56:25,431 --> 00:56:26,842
Big hands. Mmm.

873
00:56:26,975 --> 00:56:29,512
Mmm. Does he, uh,
know about moi?

874
00:56:29,644 --> 00:56:33,594
Well, we didn't really get around
to frivolous details.

875
00:56:33,732 --> 00:56:35,688
Well, that's all very well,
but what's he gonna say when he arrives?

876
00:56:35,816 --> 00:56:37,774
What am I supposed to be,
Andre, the zany butler?

877
00:56:37,902 --> 00:56:40,109
- Just be yourself.
- Well, which me?

878
00:56:40,238 --> 00:56:43,109
English me? Cold, frosty me?
Frivolous me?

879
00:56:43,241 --> 00:56:44,521
How 'bout nice me?

880
00:56:45,618 --> 00:56:48,703
- Well, at your own risk, be it.
- Don't screw this up for me.

881
00:56:48,830 --> 00:56:50,988
Oh, Abbie, get out of the kitchen.
I can't concentrate.

882
00:56:51,124 --> 00:56:53,282
- Meanie bucket.
- I'll be up in five minutes...

883
00:56:53,418 --> 00:56:55,743
- to discuss wardrobe.
- Yes, Your Majesty.

884
00:56:57,297 --> 00:56:59,336
I see you
in a plunging neckline.

885
00:56:59,465 --> 00:57:01,505
No point in hiding your life
under your bushel.

886
00:57:02,552 --> 00:57:05,008
Everybody looks the same

887
00:57:06,473 --> 00:57:09,758
We're just tired
of looking at each other

888
00:57:15,107 --> 00:57:18,392
We're just tired
of looking at each other

889
00:57:19,986 --> 00:57:22,193
Hi, uh,
this Abbie Reynold's house?

890
00:57:27,244 --> 00:57:29,284
Come in. I'm sorry.

891
00:57:30,247 --> 00:57:32,406
I've always been longing to do that.
Come in. Robert.

892
00:57:35,294 --> 00:57:37,333
Abbie is, uh,
putting on her face.

893
00:57:37,463 --> 00:57:39,503
Well, at least one of them.

894
00:57:40,966 --> 00:57:43,005
She tells me
you're into takeovers.

895
00:57:43,135 --> 00:57:46,172
Well, what I'm doing right now
is actually closer to a merger.

896
00:57:46,304 --> 00:57:47,847
- Drink?
- No, thanks.

897
00:57:47,973 --> 00:57:50,345
- Sit.
- All right.

898
00:57:51,393 --> 00:57:53,516
Yeah, I take sick companies
and I make them well.

899
00:57:53,645 --> 00:57:55,472
I'm out here right now, uh...

900
00:57:55,606 --> 00:57:59,438
Well, I'm working with a Fortune 500
company that has fallen on hard times...

901
00:57:59,569 --> 00:58:02,938
and I've come to try
to resuscitate the...

902
00:58:03,072 --> 00:58:04,981
I'm sorry.
I'm rambling, huh?

903
00:58:05,115 --> 00:58:07,868
No, no, no, it's really interesting.
It's just it's also, uh, really long.

904
00:58:07,994 --> 00:58:10,829
Uh, do you mind if I take a Nelly break
and, uh, put on a record?

905
00:58:11,997 --> 00:58:14,156
- Uh, no.
- Good.

906
00:58:17,378 --> 00:58:19,537
- Frank or Judy?
- Pardon?

907
00:58:20,381 --> 00:58:24,130
- Frank or Judy?
- Uh, Frank, I guess.

908
00:58:24,260 --> 00:58:28,389
Oh, well, I'm afraid Frank's
feeling a little shy tonight,
but Judy's itching to go.

909
00:58:29,390 --> 00:58:32,676
I think you can tell a lot
by a man's musical preference, hmm?

910
00:58:32,810 --> 00:58:34,186
I guess so.

911
00:58:34,312 --> 00:58:37,099
I once met a truck driver, for example,
who loved Carly Simon.

912
00:58:37,231 --> 00:58:39,105
It was downhill from then on.

913
00:58:42,278 --> 00:58:45,280
Clang, clang, clang
went the trolley

914
00:58:45,406 --> 00:58:48,610
Ding, ding, ding went the bell

915
00:58:48,743 --> 00:58:51,495
Zing, zing, zing
went my heartstrings

916
00:58:51,621 --> 00:58:53,909
- From the moment I saw him I fell
- God, I love Judy Garland.

917
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:58,418
- Excuse me, but, uh,
are you gay or...
- Chug, chug, chug went the motor

918
00:58:58,545 --> 00:59:01,462
- are you just acting gay?
- Bump, bump, bump
- Good question.

919
00:59:01,590 --> 00:59:04,959
- Went the train
- Are you interested,
or are you just acting interested?

920
00:59:05,093 --> 00:59:08,960
- Interested in what?
- Well, Abbie, of course.

921
00:59:09,097 --> 00:59:10,674
She's a very delicate flower,
you know.

922
00:59:12,142 --> 00:59:14,763
I'm sorry. Who are you?

923
00:59:14,895 --> 00:59:16,305
I'm Sam's father.

924
00:59:16,438 --> 00:59:18,478
Oh. Oh.

925
00:59:20,526 --> 00:59:23,480
I'm sorry. I guess I came
at a bad time, then.
You're here to pick up your son?

926
00:59:23,612 --> 00:59:25,853
No, I live here.

927
00:59:26,907 --> 00:59:29,991
Hey, Sammy.
Hey, little man.

928
00:59:30,118 --> 00:59:32,953
- How are you?
- "Sammy"?

929
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:34,408
Hey, Sam.

930
00:59:36,291 --> 00:59:37,537
- Hi.
- Hi.

931
00:59:37,667 --> 00:59:40,289
- I'm ready, finally.
- Wow, you... you look great.

932
00:59:40,421 --> 00:59:42,460
- You look great.
- "Sammy."

933
00:59:42,590 --> 00:59:44,796
I was, uh... I was just talking
with your ex-husband.

934
00:59:44,925 --> 00:59:47,333
- We're not divorced.
- We're not even married.

935
00:59:47,470 --> 00:59:49,794
- Okay, I'm... I'm lost.
- I'll tell you at dinner.

936
00:59:51,515 --> 00:59:53,009
Bye. Bye, Sam.

937
00:59:53,893 --> 00:59:55,969
- Don't stay up too late.
- Nice to meet you, Robert.

938
00:59:56,104 --> 00:59:58,890
- Nice to meet you. Take care.
- Bye.

939
00:59:59,023 --> 01:00:02,606
Yeah, keep in touch. I'll, uh,
tuck little "Sammy" in for both of us.

940
01:00:03,485 --> 01:00:06,272
Now, Sam,
turn this book upside down...

941
01:00:07,532 --> 01:00:11,150
and let's enter the world
of Princess Tiny fuse.

942
01:00:11,286 --> 01:00:12,281
Now.

943
01:00:18,083 --> 01:00:20,242
- No dating.
- Oh, right.

944
01:00:21,545 --> 01:00:23,585
Trust me,
it won't take that long.

945
01:00:25,424 --> 01:00:28,591
Hello. 8:00 reservation.
The name is Cooper.

946
01:00:28,719 --> 01:00:31,045
Well, it's, um,
going to be quite a wait.

947
01:00:31,181 --> 01:00:36,555
You can have a drink at the bar
if you like, and I'll have a table
for you in, oh, two hours?

948
01:00:36,685 --> 01:00:39,141
- Two hours?
- Oh, Mr Ross.

949
01:00:39,272 --> 01:00:41,514
- So good to see you again.
- Nice to be back.

950
01:00:41,650 --> 01:00:44,057
Okay. We'll have table 14
for Mr Ross tonight.

951
01:00:44,193 --> 01:00:45,272
Of course.

952
01:00:46,655 --> 01:00:50,522
So much for trying to impress you.
I'm gonna have a little fun. Humour me.

953
01:00:50,658 --> 01:00:52,069
Excuse me.

954
01:00:52,201 --> 01:00:56,282
Would it make a difference if I told you
that Harrison Ford is in our party?

955
01:00:58,375 --> 01:00:59,620
I'll be right back.

956
01:01:01,503 --> 01:01:02,962
Harrison Ford?

957
01:01:05,632 --> 01:01:07,126
- Mr Cooper?
- Yes.

958
01:01:07,258 --> 01:01:10,094
Yes, sure.
So nice to see you again.

959
01:01:10,220 --> 01:01:12,177
- And you.
- Would you follow me?

960
01:01:23,734 --> 01:01:25,477
Thank you.

961
01:01:27,029 --> 01:01:28,985
- Enjoy your dinner.
- Thank you.

962
01:01:35,454 --> 01:01:37,576
Okay, here's a toast to...

963
01:01:37,706 --> 01:01:40,376
discovering muscles in your body
you never knew existed.

964
01:01:40,501 --> 01:01:43,205
- And finding new ones.
- Mmm.

965
01:01:46,966 --> 01:01:50,132
So, what does an investment banker
do for fun?

966
01:01:50,261 --> 01:01:54,258
Well, of course,
I'm passionate about yoga...

967
01:01:54,389 --> 01:01:55,931
rock climbing,
uh, racquetball...

968
01:01:56,058 --> 01:02:00,519
- Racquetball?
- Really, I'm just a... a workaholic.

969
01:02:00,646 --> 01:02:02,271
Do you have any pets?

970
01:02:02,398 --> 01:02:04,723
No pets, but I got a couple
of dead plants back in New York.

971
01:02:06,235 --> 01:02:09,106
- Favourite colour.
- All shades of pink.

972
01:02:11,532 --> 01:02:15,150
Well, you're perfectly presentable,
I assume successful...

973
01:02:16,829 --> 01:02:18,738
good sense of humour.

974
01:02:18,873 --> 01:02:20,664
- Thank you.
- So...

975
01:02:20,792 --> 01:02:22,250
- why are you...
- What?

976
01:02:22,377 --> 01:02:24,500
- Why am I unattached?
- Yeah.

977
01:02:24,628 --> 01:02:26,668
Exactly.
What's wrong with you?

978
01:02:27,924 --> 01:02:30,296
Been wondering
the same thing myself.

979
01:02:30,426 --> 01:02:32,253
You see anything obvious?

980
01:02:32,387 --> 01:02:34,676
- You do have a piece
of spinach in your teeth.
- Do l?

981
01:02:34,805 --> 01:02:37,213
Mm-hmm.Just kidding.

982
01:02:37,350 --> 01:02:40,801
That's good. I don't know. I guess
I never met the right woman.

983
01:02:42,313 --> 01:02:45,397
Or maybe I met her, but I wasn't
the right man at the right time.

984
01:02:46,984 --> 01:02:49,392
Anyway, that's my excuse.
What's yours?

985
01:02:49,529 --> 01:02:52,399
I decided to have a child
instead of a husband.

986
01:02:52,532 --> 01:02:55,449
- Couldn't you have both?
- Well, theoretically
I could have both...

987
01:02:55,577 --> 01:02:59,741
but if I waited around
long enough for the right man,
might not have had the right child.

988
01:03:01,041 --> 01:03:03,366
So, does Robert help out?
Is he a good father?

989
01:03:03,501 --> 01:03:05,078
He's the greatest.

990
01:03:06,254 --> 01:03:10,003
Hope you don't mind me asking,
but were you two ever together?

991
01:03:10,133 --> 01:03:15,210
Once, a very long time ago,
for about a half an hour.

992
01:03:15,346 --> 01:03:17,173
- Huh.
- Hmm.

993
01:03:17,307 --> 01:03:19,050
We're best friends.

994
01:03:21,061 --> 01:03:23,268
No, we're closer than that.

995
01:03:23,397 --> 01:03:24,939
Robert's my family.

996
01:03:37,619 --> 01:03:39,861
- Thank you very much, sir.
- How's everyone doing?
- Good.

997
01:03:39,997 --> 01:03:43,496
- Thank you very much, sir.
- Enjoying yourself, Mr Cooper?

998
01:03:43,626 --> 01:03:46,626
Dinner was superb. You clearly
live up to your reputation.

999
01:03:46,754 --> 01:03:48,995
But you, it seems, do not.

1000
01:03:49,131 --> 01:03:52,963
I hope you enjoyed your little joke
on me and this restaurant.

1001
01:03:53,093 --> 01:03:56,343
- What joke?
- You said Harrison Ford
was in your party.

1002
01:03:56,472 --> 01:03:59,307
No, what I said was,
"Would it make a difference...

1003
01:03:59,433 --> 01:04:02,351
if I told you Harrison Ford
was in our party?"

1004
01:04:02,477 --> 01:04:03,474
Clearly it did.

1005
01:04:25,418 --> 01:04:28,039
- Um, I guess I'd better go.
- Oh, okay.

1006
01:04:28,170 --> 01:04:30,080
You know, I'd ask you in,
but, uh...

1007
01:04:30,214 --> 01:04:32,254
you know, it's a long story.

1008
01:04:32,383 --> 01:04:34,127
- Anyway...
- All right.

1009
01:04:34,260 --> 01:04:36,798
- I had fun.
- Me too.

1010
01:04:38,347 --> 01:04:40,424
Will I see you again?

1011
01:04:40,558 --> 01:04:42,965
I think you're gonna see so much of me
you're gonna get sick of me.

1012
01:04:44,271 --> 01:04:46,559
Yeah. Listen.

1013
01:04:46,689 --> 01:04:49,062
I know this is
not really a date...

1014
01:04:49,192 --> 01:04:52,312
but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to kiss you anyway.

1015
01:04:52,445 --> 01:04:54,485
Oh. All right.

1016
01:05:21,766 --> 01:05:23,842
Wow. I can't believe
how good that is.

1017
01:05:23,977 --> 01:05:25,970
I just have to tell you
one more thing.

1018
01:05:33,153 --> 01:05:36,190
- How was dinner?
- Well, I think I've just had...

1019
01:05:36,323 --> 01:05:38,530
possibly one of the best dates
I've ever had.

1020
01:05:38,658 --> 01:05:40,947
- Well, congratulations.
- Ever.

1021
01:05:41,078 --> 01:05:43,201
- Double congratulations.
- And you know what?

1022
01:05:44,206 --> 01:05:46,282
- What?
- You're such a jerk.

1023
01:05:47,334 --> 01:05:49,706
- What are you talking about?
- You were so rude to Ben.

1024
01:05:49,837 --> 01:05:51,165
- I was not rude to Ben.
- Yes, you were.

1025
01:05:51,296 --> 01:05:52,791
- I was my usual charming self.
- You practically slammed
the door in his face.

1026
01:05:52,923 --> 01:05:55,592
- I did not.
- Wait a second. You did
slam the door in his face.

1027
01:05:55,717 --> 01:05:58,423
Abbie, that was a joke.
Oh, God. I saw it in a play.

1028
01:05:58,554 --> 01:06:01,508
- Brought the house down. Sorry. Ha.
- Ha ha.

1029
01:06:04,810 --> 01:06:06,518
Are we a little tipsy?

1030
01:06:06,645 --> 01:06:09,218
Ben ordered the most
delicious wine in the universe.

1031
01:06:09,356 --> 01:06:12,772
- "Most delicious wine..."
- You're jealous.

1032
01:06:12,902 --> 01:06:14,645
- Oh, right.
- Why didn't I see it before?

1033
01:06:14,779 --> 01:06:17,815
- You're jealous
that I went out on a date.
- How could I possibly be jealous?

1034
01:06:17,948 --> 01:06:21,033
I'm the one that encouraged you
to go out more in the first place.

1035
01:06:22,536 --> 01:06:24,992
- What's so hilarious?
- Oh, nothing.

1036
01:06:25,123 --> 01:06:28,990
It was just something Ben said
at dinner. Sorry. You had to be there.

1037
01:06:29,794 --> 01:06:31,751
He's very perceptive, you know.

1038
01:06:31,879 --> 01:06:35,165
- Perceptive about me, I expect.
- Me, me, me, me, me.

1039
01:06:35,300 --> 01:06:38,004
Funnily enough, you were
hardly mentioned all evening...

1040
01:06:38,135 --> 01:06:41,836
other than discussing the fact that I
was turkey-basted by my gay best friend.

1041
01:06:41,973 --> 01:06:46,219
- You were not turkey-basted.
- Oh. Right.

1042
01:06:46,352 --> 01:06:49,270
- Did Sammy get to bed okay?
- Look, what's all
this "Sammy" business?

1043
01:06:49,396 --> 01:06:51,354
His name is Sam, all right.
He's not Sammy.

1044
01:06:51,482 --> 01:06:54,816
He's not Sammy Davis,Jr.
He's not The Rat Pack. He's just Sam.

1045
01:06:55,737 --> 01:06:59,355
Hmm. Well, I don't know what's wrong
with you, but I'm going to bed.

1046
01:07:01,576 --> 01:07:05,704
He was singin'
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie

1047
01:07:05,831 --> 01:07:09,697
Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry

1048
01:07:09,834 --> 01:07:12,290
Them good ol' boys
were drinkin' whisky and rye

1049
01:07:12,420 --> 01:07:16,881
- Hey, Sammy, you wanna go in the water?
- Yeah!
- Singin' this'll be the day that I die

1050
01:07:17,008 --> 01:07:19,582
- This'll be the day that I die
- Hey, Dad, can I go in the water now?

1051
01:07:20,762 --> 01:07:22,969
- Sure.
- Can I take him in?

1052
01:07:23,098 --> 01:07:25,090
- Okay.
- Helter Skelter in a summer swelter

1053
01:07:25,225 --> 01:07:28,391
- I'm gonna throw you in! Throw him in!
- The birds flew off
to the fallout shelter

1054
01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:33,265
- No!
- Swim in tons of fishes!
- The day the music died

1055
01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:36,318
- Here we go. Here we go!
- He was singin'

1056
01:07:36,445 --> 01:07:38,603
- Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
- Oh, my God.

1057
01:07:38,738 --> 01:07:40,482
"Oh, my God" is right.

1058
01:07:40,615 --> 01:07:42,988
Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry

1059
01:07:43,118 --> 01:07:45,953
Them good ol' boys
were drinkin' whisky and rye

1060
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:50,159
And singin' this'll be
the day that I die

1061
01:07:50,292 --> 01:07:52,997
This'll be the day that I die

1062
01:07:54,964 --> 01:07:56,920
They were singin'

1063
01:07:57,048 --> 01:08:01,129
- Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
- One!

1064
01:08:01,262 --> 01:08:03,551
- Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry
- No!

1065
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:06,172
- No, Mommy!
- Two!

1066
01:08:06,308 --> 01:08:10,637
- Watch out! You're going in the water!
- Them good ol' boys
were drinkin' whisky and rye

1067
01:08:10,771 --> 01:08:15,563
- Singin' this'll be the day that I die
- Whoo!

1068
01:08:15,692 --> 01:08:16,689
It's freezin'.

1069
01:08:21,282 --> 01:08:23,524
- Hey, big wheel.
- Hi, Dad.

1070
01:08:23,660 --> 01:08:27,076
How are you? Your shoelace
is undone. I can do it up.

1071
01:08:27,205 --> 01:08:29,031
- I can do it.
- What?

1072
01:08:29,164 --> 01:08:32,664
- When did you learn how to do that?
- Ben teached me.

1073
01:08:32,793 --> 01:08:35,082
Oh. What else did Ben
"teached" you?

1074
01:08:41,678 --> 01:08:42,507
Crazy.

1075
01:09:05,577 --> 01:09:07,119
- Ben.
- Hmm?

1076
01:09:08,455 --> 01:09:11,871
- What's wrong with you?
- Why, is something wrong?

1077
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,123
You haven't said a word to me
for ages.

1078
01:09:21,593 --> 01:09:23,467
See what I mean?

1079
01:09:23,595 --> 01:09:25,054
Abbie, um...

1080
01:09:27,015 --> 01:09:31,263
- We need to talk.
- "Talk." I don't like
the sound of that.

1081
01:09:31,394 --> 01:09:32,937
We're talking now, right?

1082
01:09:35,565 --> 01:09:36,728
Yeah.

1083
01:09:41,113 --> 01:09:45,360
- Oh, God, Ben, don't do this to me.
- Yeah, this is kinda hard for me too.

1084
01:09:45,492 --> 01:09:48,327
Hard for you?
What about me?

1085
01:09:48,453 --> 01:09:51,703
You know what? Don't even tell me, okay?
Because I already know
what you're gonna say.

1086
01:09:51,832 --> 01:09:55,580
- How do you know what I'm gonna say?
- Because I do. How many words?

1087
01:09:57,504 --> 01:09:58,667
- Five.
- Five.

1088
01:09:58,797 --> 01:10:00,671
I knew it.

1089
01:10:00,799 --> 01:10:02,757
"It's not you. It's me."

1090
01:10:04,053 --> 01:10:07,172
Couldn't you have been
just a little bit more original?

1091
01:10:07,306 --> 01:10:10,058
Like, um, "I need
to concentrate on my work"...

1092
01:10:10,183 --> 01:10:14,312
or, better yet, how 'bout, um,
"I'm getting back together again
with my ex-girlfriend."

1093
01:10:14,438 --> 01:10:19,065
- No, Abbie, come here, baby.
- I don't even know why
I wasted my time on you.

1094
01:10:19,193 --> 01:10:21,352
What, are you nuts? Come here.
Listen. Listen to me.

1095
01:10:21,487 --> 01:10:23,231
- Listen.
- Why?

1096
01:10:24,031 --> 01:10:27,198
I'm in love with you.

1097
01:10:31,623 --> 01:10:33,081
I'm in love with you.

1098
01:11:06,449 --> 01:11:09,485
- Hey, little man. You go first.
- Hello.

1099
01:11:13,582 --> 01:11:16,867
- Dad.
- Mm-hmm.
- Can I watch cartoons?

1100
01:11:17,002 --> 01:11:20,252
- What time is it?
- The little hand is on the eight.

1101
01:11:20,380 --> 01:11:23,334
No. No, the seven.

1102
01:11:23,466 --> 01:11:26,586
Sam. Will you just...

1103
01:11:26,720 --> 01:11:29,092
Just watch cartoons in an hour.
Go back to sleep for a while.

1104
01:11:29,223 --> 01:11:30,883
Mm, okay.

1105
01:11:34,644 --> 01:11:36,684
Is Ben my daddy now?

1106
01:11:39,691 --> 01:11:40,687
What?

1107
01:11:44,071 --> 01:11:46,561
- Okay, well, let's get
just one thing straight.
- Please, Robert.

1108
01:11:46,698 --> 01:11:48,940
- I can't believe you let this happen.
I mean, what were you thinking?
- Calm down, Robert.

1109
01:11:49,076 --> 01:11:51,033
Sam sees a stranger in his bedroom
in the morning.

1110
01:11:51,162 --> 01:11:53,118
- You probably traumatized him.
- Ben is hardly a strange man.

1111
01:11:53,246 --> 01:11:54,788
- I'm sorry. I thought I was gonna
be gone by the time he woke up.
- Sam adores him.

1112
01:11:54,915 --> 01:11:56,872
Sam is confused by him,
and you're not helping matters.

1113
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,077
What exactly do you think
is going on between us?

1114
01:11:59,211 --> 01:12:03,044
I don't care
what's going on between you.
I just don't want it to go on here.

1115
01:12:03,173 --> 01:12:05,213
We're getting married.

1116
01:12:06,052 --> 01:12:09,586
- What?
- We've been trying to figure out
a way to tell you.

1117
01:12:11,474 --> 01:12:13,513
Well, let me give you
one little tiny hint.

1118
01:12:13,642 --> 01:12:16,597
Letting Sam discover you in bed with him
is not what I'd call a subtle approach.

1119
01:12:16,728 --> 01:12:19,896
We didn't exactly plan it
this way, okay? Now you know.
So let's talk about it.

1120
01:12:20,023 --> 01:12:21,981
Talk about it? I've only had
five seconds to think about it.

1121
01:12:22,109 --> 01:12:25,229
You're the ones that have had
the luxury of mulling this over.
What do you think about it?

1122
01:12:25,362 --> 01:12:27,604
- I don't know.
- Well, that's a fine place to start.

1123
01:12:27,740 --> 01:12:32,532
Look, Robert, I just want us
all to get along. I'm not here
to usurp your position.

1124
01:12:32,662 --> 01:12:35,153
- I think you're a great dad.
- That's mighty big of you, Ben.

1125
01:12:35,289 --> 01:12:38,493
Stop it, Robert! The last thing
that we want to do is hurt you.

1126
01:12:38,626 --> 01:12:40,417
- "We, we, we." What's all
this "we" all of a sudden?
- Shh!

1127
01:12:40,544 --> 01:12:42,703
The fact of the matter is,
we need to work this out together.

1128
01:12:42,839 --> 01:12:45,839
Well, let me tell you one thing
straight away. Sam has one father.

1129
01:12:45,967 --> 01:12:49,003
There's only one daddy in this family,
and that is me! I'm the daddy!

1130
01:12:49,136 --> 01:12:50,963
- Absolutely!
- Absolutely!
- You're the mummy...

1131
01:12:51,097 --> 01:12:52,295
and Ben...

1132
01:12:53,683 --> 01:12:55,012
Ben is just Ben.

1133
01:12:56,311 --> 01:13:00,059
Now, when it comes to any decisions
involving Sam, I get a say
and Abbie gets a say.

1134
01:13:00,190 --> 01:13:04,567
If Sam wants ice cream, and I say no,
I don't want to hear
that you two said yes.

1135
01:13:04,694 --> 01:13:07,315
I don't want to be outvoted.
This is not a democracy.

1136
01:13:07,446 --> 01:13:12,026
Oh, and one more thing.
He's not moving in here.

1137
01:13:16,873 --> 01:13:19,542
By the way, congratulations.

1138
01:13:28,009 --> 01:13:30,583
Attention, shoppers.
At the meat counter...

1139
01:13:30,721 --> 01:13:33,472
Le Grand Balu, your big salami.

1140
01:13:33,599 --> 01:13:35,556
- Eighty-nine cents an inch.
- Mom?
- Mm-hmm.

1141
01:13:35,684 --> 01:13:39,847
Why is Ben making dinner tonight?
We're supposed to have roast beast
on Thursdays.

1142
01:13:39,980 --> 01:13:43,099
Because Ben's making something special
for dinner tonight.

1143
01:13:43,233 --> 01:13:46,317
It's a cross between a noodle
and a dumpling, only lighter.

1144
01:13:46,444 --> 01:13:48,484
- It's German.
- It sounds potentially hazardous...

1145
01:13:48,614 --> 01:13:50,772
and utterly delicious.

1146
01:13:51,867 --> 01:13:55,318
So, uh, have you requested a transfer
from your New York office yet?

1147
01:13:55,454 --> 01:13:58,538
- Yeah, I did.
- How'd they take it?

1148
01:13:58,665 --> 01:14:00,824
Well, it's a little complicated,
actually.

1149
01:14:02,878 --> 01:14:05,998
- They offered me a partnership.
- Hey, congratulations.

1150
01:14:06,132 --> 01:14:09,168
- Out here?
- Well, no. It'd be back east.

1151
01:14:10,427 --> 01:14:12,504
So what did you tell them?

1152
01:14:15,349 --> 01:14:18,848
- So what did you tell them, Ben?
- I told them I'd have to think about it.

1153
01:14:18,978 --> 01:14:22,846
Well, you two aren't gonna try
that long-distance thing, are you?
That never works.

1154
01:14:24,150 --> 01:14:26,439
Look, if I don't accept their offer,
I'll have to leave the firm.

1155
01:14:26,568 --> 01:14:29,024
I've been with them
for 15 years, Robert.

1156
01:14:30,531 --> 01:14:34,196
Immediate clean-up, aisle three.
Aisle three clean-up
immediately, please.

1157
01:14:34,327 --> 01:14:36,569
Daddy will always be your father.

1158
01:14:36,704 --> 01:14:39,160
- Ben will be your stepfather.
- Like in Cinderella?

1159
01:14:39,290 --> 01:14:42,825
Kind of. Except that Ben
is really nice.

1160
01:14:42,961 --> 01:14:45,831
- And we're all gonna live happily ever...
- What are you saying?

1161
01:14:45,963 --> 01:14:49,629
Your career's more important
than my career? Let me
just tell you one thing, Ben.

1162
01:14:49,759 --> 01:14:53,708
Moving to New York is not an option.
What am I gonna do?
Sell pretzels from a pushcart?

1163
01:14:53,846 --> 01:14:57,049
Robert, don't get upset.
It just happened.

1164
01:14:57,183 --> 01:14:59,472
- We haven't figured everything out yet.
- I didn't even say
I was gonna do it.

1165
01:14:59,602 --> 01:15:03,435
- Yeah, but you didn't say you weren't.
- Can we please take this outside?

1166
01:15:03,565 --> 01:15:06,186
- Christ!
- Sam, come on, please. Help me unload.

1167
01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:10,727
- Will you move it along?
- Robert!

1168
01:15:11,949 --> 01:15:12,944
Move!

1169
01:15:13,991 --> 01:15:17,574
I'll tell you one thing.
You're not taking Sam.

1170
01:15:17,704 --> 01:15:19,162
- Take me where, Daddy?
- Robert.

1171
01:15:19,289 --> 01:15:20,831
The cement capital
of the United States, Sam.

1172
01:15:20,957 --> 01:15:22,665
- I don't want to go
to the cement capital of the Uni...
- Robert!

1173
01:15:22,792 --> 01:15:24,452
- You're telling me.
- Robert, that's it.

1174
01:15:24,586 --> 01:15:27,540
You wanna talk about this
right now? Huh?

1175
01:15:27,672 --> 01:15:31,717
You got some incredible burning need,
fine, but we are not gonna do it
in front of Sam.

1176
01:15:31,843 --> 01:15:33,386
- Come on, Sam.
- See what you did? You just upset, Sam.

1177
01:15:33,512 --> 01:15:36,596
- What are you talking about?
- This is all your fault. Everything
was just fine till you came along.

1178
01:15:36,723 --> 01:15:39,808
- Everything was not fine!
- Listen, no one's trying
to take anything away from you.

1179
01:15:39,935 --> 01:15:42,604
- We just wanna figure out
what makes sense.
- Well, me and Sam,
we have our home here.

1180
01:15:42,729 --> 01:15:44,556
We have our lives here.
If you're so unhappy...

1181
01:15:44,689 --> 01:15:47,228
I've never been happier in my life!
You're the one that's unhappy!

1182
01:15:47,359 --> 01:15:48,474
- No, no, no, no.
We made an arrangement.
- Has it ever occurred...

1183
01:15:48,610 --> 01:15:50,603
We made an arrangement to put
this kid first, come what may...

1184
01:15:50,738 --> 01:15:53,145
- but you just want to throw it
all away on a whim!
- Ben is not a whim!

1185
01:15:53,282 --> 01:15:55,903
- Oh, yeah?
- Hasn't it occurred to you
that we could work something out?

1186
01:15:56,034 --> 01:15:58,074
- Come on, Sam. Let's go.
- What do you think you're doing?

1187
01:15:58,203 --> 01:15:59,578
- Gonna walk home.
- Look, you're not walking.

1188
01:15:59,705 --> 01:16:03,204
- It's only six blocks. I just
can't be with you guys right now.
- Robert! Sammy, come back here.

1189
01:16:03,333 --> 01:16:05,160
Robert!

1190
01:16:05,294 --> 01:16:08,627
- We're gonna race you home, Mommy.
- Good. Perfect.

1191
01:16:08,756 --> 01:16:11,425
- Sammy!
- Come on, come on.
Faster, faster, faster.

1192
01:16:15,680 --> 01:16:17,257
I hate childproof caps.

1193
01:16:18,682 --> 01:16:20,972
I told you, Robert.
I told you at the very beginning.

1194
01:16:21,102 --> 01:16:24,636
You should have insisted upon getting
married. Then you would have rights.
Look what happened to me.

1195
01:16:24,771 --> 01:16:28,187
I have rights now. They're not
going anywhere. Full stop. The end.

1196
01:16:28,317 --> 01:16:30,855
You need to talk to an attorney.
Just a consultation.

1197
01:16:30,987 --> 01:16:34,023
- A couple hundred bucks.
Know where you stand.
- I know where I stand, David. Trust me.

1198
01:16:34,157 --> 01:16:36,233
- I'm not gonna see an attorney.
- I'll bet she is.

1199
01:16:40,079 --> 01:16:43,495
Stupid pills. I can't even
tell if they're working.

1200
01:16:43,624 --> 01:16:45,831
So stop taking them, and if you die,
you'll know they work.

1201
01:16:48,379 --> 01:16:50,336
Yeah. Better safe
than sorry, you mean.

1202
01:16:50,464 --> 01:16:52,873
Mm-hmm. Better safe than sorry.

1203
01:16:53,009 --> 01:16:54,551
Go talk to a lawyer.

1204
01:17:04,187 --> 01:17:05,182
Abbie?

1205
01:17:06,731 --> 01:17:07,929
Abbie?

1206
01:17:29,170 --> 01:17:31,662
Those are good arguments, Robert.

1207
01:17:31,799 --> 01:17:37,753
You're the biological father,
and obviously you're a caring person.
You've been involved.

1208
01:17:37,888 --> 01:17:41,304
We've got a decent chance at joint
custody, and if we can get that...

1209
01:17:41,433 --> 01:17:44,636
we'll be able to keep her
from leaving the state with Sam.

1210
01:17:44,770 --> 01:17:47,391
Now, the fact that you're gay
isn't gonna help us...

1211
01:17:47,522 --> 01:17:50,274
and if this goes to court, we better
hope for a sympathetic judge...

1212
01:17:50,401 --> 01:17:54,350
and I could tell you right now
there aren't many of them.

1213
01:17:54,488 --> 01:17:57,110
Uh, are there any grounds
on which you can demonstrate...

1214
01:17:57,241 --> 01:17:59,566
that Ms Reynolds
is a bad mother?

1215
01:18:02,121 --> 01:18:04,825
- No.
- Can she, uh, and Mr Cooper...

1216
01:18:04,957 --> 01:18:06,831
provide a roof over Sam's head?

1217
01:18:06,959 --> 01:18:09,284
- Mm-hmm.
- Does she have a drinking problem?

1218
01:18:09,419 --> 01:18:11,412
- No.
- Drug problem?

1219
01:18:11,547 --> 01:18:13,456
- No.
- Is she a smoker?

1220
01:18:13,591 --> 01:18:15,998
Smoking's grounds for custody?

1221
01:18:16,134 --> 01:18:19,919
There's a case in Massachusetts right
now testing the waters. You never know.

1222
01:18:20,055 --> 01:18:24,764
No, I, uh, I made her
give up ten years ago. Idiot.

1223
01:18:26,103 --> 01:18:29,554
All righty, let's see.
Uh, is she promiscuous?

1224
01:18:29,690 --> 01:18:31,647
- No.
- Abusive?

1225
01:18:31,776 --> 01:18:34,065
- Uh-uh.
- Mentally unstable?

1226
01:18:34,195 --> 01:18:36,816
- No.
- Emotionally unstable?

1227
01:18:40,702 --> 01:18:42,741
Well, not until now.

1228
01:19:11,316 --> 01:19:13,723
Hey. Why are you awake?

1229
01:19:13,860 --> 01:19:16,434
I was thinking about Daddy.

1230
01:19:16,571 --> 01:19:18,979
Yeah?
What were you thinkin'?

1231
01:19:22,619 --> 01:19:26,746
You know when I get a stomachache,
and you make me tea and toast?

1232
01:19:26,873 --> 01:19:28,581
Yeah.

1233
01:19:28,708 --> 01:19:32,207
Well, if Dad gets
a stomachache...

1234
01:19:32,337 --> 01:19:34,377
who's gonna make him
tea and toast?

1235
01:19:35,924 --> 01:19:38,711
When Daddy gets sick
or when I get sick...

1236
01:19:38,843 --> 01:19:42,378
we make our own tea and toast,
because we're grown-ups.

1237
01:19:42,514 --> 01:19:45,515
- It's not the same.
- No, I know.

1238
01:19:45,642 --> 01:19:47,350
It isn't the same.

1239
01:19:47,477 --> 01:19:51,522
Daddy's fine.
He doesn't have a stomachache.

1240
01:19:52,774 --> 01:19:56,607
I'm afraid that Daddy doesn't know
that I love him.

1241
01:19:57,654 --> 01:19:59,980
Oh, honey,
Daddy knows you love him.

1242
01:20:02,242 --> 01:20:05,244
If you like, you can call him
in the morning and you can tell him.

1243
01:20:06,205 --> 01:20:08,447
- Would you like that?
- Yeah.

1244
01:20:10,792 --> 01:20:15,122
- Can I sleep with you a little while?
- Mm, yeah.

1245
01:20:15,256 --> 01:20:16,454
Okay.

1246
01:20:21,762 --> 01:20:24,763
- I love you, Mommy.
- What, baby?

1247
01:20:24,890 --> 01:20:26,218
I love you, Mommy.

1248
01:20:27,517 --> 01:20:30,603
- But I love Daddy too.
- I know.

1249
01:20:46,746 --> 01:20:48,074
Can I come in?

1250
01:20:51,918 --> 01:20:53,792
I got the summons.

1251
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,161
Well, I assumed
you already had a toaster.

1252
01:20:56,964 --> 01:20:58,589
Please don't go
through with this.

1253
01:21:00,134 --> 01:21:02,804
- You gave me no choice.
- You scared me.

1254
01:21:02,928 --> 01:21:05,420
Why? What do you think
I was gonna do?

1255
01:21:05,557 --> 01:21:09,175
Something crazy,
like kidnap Sam before you did?

1256
01:21:09,311 --> 01:21:12,975
I had to. The situation was just
becoming too unhealthy for him.

1257
01:21:14,524 --> 01:21:18,189
Unhealthy for Sam,
or inconvenient for you and Ben?

1258
01:21:19,362 --> 01:21:23,146
You know what Ben means to me.
Why can't you just give me this chance?

1259
01:21:23,282 --> 01:21:24,564
Why? Why should I?

1260
01:21:28,080 --> 01:21:29,538
Because you love me.

1261
01:21:31,458 --> 01:21:32,786
I love Sam.

1262
01:21:34,586 --> 01:21:36,544
Look, why can't we
just find a solution.

1263
01:21:36,671 --> 01:21:39,341
- So you do what you want.Just bring
Sam back, or the courts will.
- No.

1264
01:21:39,466 --> 01:21:40,545
- That's not what my lawyer says.
- No, they won't.

1265
01:21:40,675 --> 01:21:42,633
She says I have a good chance.
I have legal rights.

1266
01:21:42,761 --> 01:21:45,216
- Robert, no.
- Yes!
- Robert.

1267
01:21:49,601 --> 01:21:51,759
Robert,
you're not Sam's father.

1268
01:21:52,729 --> 01:21:56,395
- What you talking about?
- I'm saying you're not
his biological father.

1269
01:21:56,525 --> 01:21:58,813
My God. You'll say anything
to get your own way, won't you?

1270
01:21:58,944 --> 01:22:01,862
You don't know how much
I wish it wasn't true.

1271
01:22:01,988 --> 01:22:03,946
You didn't sleep with anybody else.
I would have known.

1272
01:22:04,074 --> 01:22:06,910
You didn't open a can of tuna without
giving me a 20-minute field report.

1273
01:22:10,497 --> 01:22:11,529
Liar.

1274
01:22:12,916 --> 01:22:14,874
- You're a fucking liar!
- No!

1275
01:22:15,002 --> 01:22:16,959
Remember when Sam
had his tonsils out?

1276
01:22:17,087 --> 01:22:20,836
Okay, they did a blood test.
He's B-positive, and we're both O.

1277
01:22:25,096 --> 01:22:28,381
You've known about this for three years,
and you didn't tell me?

1278
01:22:28,516 --> 01:22:29,511
I couldn't.

1279
01:22:29,642 --> 01:22:31,433
I didn't know how to.

1280
01:22:31,560 --> 01:22:34,478
But that means,
right from the very beginning...

1281
01:22:34,605 --> 01:22:36,645
you always knew
there was a chance...

1282
01:22:37,858 --> 01:22:39,685
Oh, my God,
I can't even remember his name.

1283
01:22:39,819 --> 01:22:43,022
- I never believed that it was Kevin's.
- Kevin.

1284
01:22:43,155 --> 01:22:46,856
And besides, I wanted the father to be
the most wonderful man that I knew.

1285
01:22:46,993 --> 01:22:48,368
I didn't wanna hurt you.

1286
01:22:50,538 --> 01:22:51,783
You betrayed me!

1287
01:22:55,794 --> 01:22:57,951
I was thinking
it didn't matter anyway.

1288
01:22:58,087 --> 01:22:59,367
Why?

1289
01:22:59,505 --> 01:23:02,542
Because you're his father
in every way that really counts.

1290
01:23:02,675 --> 01:23:04,466
The blood is irrelevant.

1291
01:23:05,804 --> 01:23:07,842
It's not so irrelevant now, is it?

1292
01:23:08,932 --> 01:23:11,054
It doesn't change a damn thing.

1293
01:23:12,310 --> 01:23:14,516
I'm sorry, Robert.
Believe me, it does.

1294
01:23:16,481 --> 01:23:18,937
If you take me to court,
then this is going with me.

1295
01:23:20,318 --> 01:23:23,818
For Sam's sake,
please don't take it this far.

1296
01:23:23,947 --> 01:23:25,738
So what are you offering me?

1297
01:23:26,574 --> 01:23:28,401
Three weeks in the summer?

1298
01:23:28,535 --> 01:23:30,658
A photograph to put
on my refrigerator door?

1299
01:23:32,414 --> 01:23:33,872
You owe me more than that.

1300
01:23:33,999 --> 01:23:36,489
I don't owe you
the rest of my life.

1301
01:23:36,626 --> 01:23:38,666
And what about Sam's life?

1302
01:23:39,963 --> 01:23:42,039
What about my life?

1303
01:23:53,351 --> 01:23:57,599
Okay. So Sam has a biological father
who doesn't know anything about him.

1304
01:23:57,731 --> 01:24:00,056
The chances are pretty good
he doesn't wanna know.

1305
01:24:00,191 --> 01:24:03,193
Uh, we could argue some sort
of malicious intent...

1306
01:24:03,319 --> 01:24:06,571
on her part
to conceal that information...

1307
01:24:06,698 --> 01:24:09,154
and, uh, it would
probably hurt her.

1308
01:24:09,284 --> 01:24:12,071
On the other hand, I don't see
how it can possibly help you.

1309
01:24:12,204 --> 01:24:15,703
The courts always try to link
parental rights to biology...

1310
01:24:15,833 --> 01:24:18,667
except in cases where the child's life
is in extreme danger.

1311
01:24:20,671 --> 01:24:24,419
I don't know what to tell you,
Robert. You don't have a case.

1312
01:24:25,592 --> 01:24:28,048
Oh, but six years. I mean,
it's gotta count for something.

1313
01:24:28,179 --> 01:24:32,306
- We can still go to court, right?
- Well, anybody can go to court,
but if you want my advice...

1314
01:24:34,017 --> 01:24:36,057
I won't give up Sam.

1315
01:24:37,021 --> 01:24:40,520
Then take Abbie up
on her offer to compromise.

1316
01:24:40,649 --> 01:24:42,689
Maybe we can work something out
privately...

1317
01:24:42,818 --> 01:24:45,274
before this gets any uglier
or more expensive.

1318
01:24:45,405 --> 01:24:46,863
It doesn't matter.

1319
01:24:46,990 --> 01:24:49,361
She's got to acknowledge
my rights as a father.

1320
01:24:49,492 --> 01:24:52,576
Robert, do you understand
that a case like this can break you?

1321
01:24:53,872 --> 01:24:56,623
And in the end,
you probably won't have Sam.

1322
01:25:11,597 --> 01:25:12,973
I'll just be a minute.

1323
01:25:24,443 --> 01:25:27,777
Your mother says your lawyer
told you to drop the case.

1324
01:25:27,905 --> 01:25:30,575
Well, you know lawyers.
Always out to save you a buck.

1325
01:25:30,701 --> 01:25:33,487
- Can't say that
any of this surprises me.
- Oh, don't start on me now, Dad.

1326
01:25:33,620 --> 01:25:35,862
I know I should never have stuck my toes
in the gene pool in the first place...

1327
01:25:35,998 --> 01:25:38,998
but if you've come here to tell me
"I told you so," say it and let's
get on to something else, okay?

1328
01:25:40,585 --> 01:25:43,420
You're going to need a little help if
you're going to get my grandson back.

1329
01:25:43,546 --> 01:25:46,547
- He's not your grandson.
- Well, he's the closest I'll ever see.

1330
01:25:52,848 --> 01:25:55,303
Now, that's not a gift.

1331
01:25:55,434 --> 01:25:58,803
Perhaps you can come and fix up
our garden sometime.

1332
01:26:06,820 --> 01:26:08,148
Thanks, Dad.

1333
01:26:10,449 --> 01:26:13,865
Get your boy back.
You need to.

1334
01:26:30,511 --> 01:26:33,263
Robert.
They're ready for us.

1335
01:26:42,773 --> 01:26:44,932
Don't look over there.
You'll just get upset.

1336
01:26:45,693 --> 01:26:48,481
I've gone over
your preliminary statements.

1337
01:26:48,613 --> 01:26:51,364
Ms Reynolds,
you and Mr Cooper...

1338
01:26:51,491 --> 01:26:53,862
are presently not married,
is that right?

1339
01:26:53,993 --> 01:26:56,401
Yes, Your Honour,
but we're engaged.

1340
01:26:56,537 --> 01:26:59,871
It's a very short engagement.
Later this summer we...

1341
01:26:59,999 --> 01:27:03,618
The child's natural father...
he has no interest here?

1342
01:27:03,753 --> 01:27:04,916
No.

1343
01:27:05,963 --> 01:27:08,716
Mr Whittaker,
you're requesting joint custody.

1344
01:27:08,842 --> 01:27:10,549
Yes, Your Honour.

1345
01:27:10,676 --> 01:27:12,752
What makes you think
you're entitled to that?

1346
01:27:14,221 --> 01:27:18,220
- Well, I've been Sam's father since...
- Objection. Your Honour...

1347
01:27:19,435 --> 01:27:22,638
since Mr Whittaker has neither legal
nor biological paternity here...

1348
01:27:22,772 --> 01:27:25,394
it is completely inappropriate
for him to refer to himself...

1349
01:27:25,525 --> 01:27:27,185
as "the father."

1350
01:27:27,319 --> 01:27:29,311
Perhaps he could use the term...

1351
01:27:29,445 --> 01:27:31,189
"caregiver"?

1352
01:27:31,322 --> 01:27:32,438
"Caregiver"?

1353
01:27:32,573 --> 01:27:34,815
Your Honour, my client has been
living with Ms Reynolds...

1354
01:27:34,951 --> 01:27:36,326
since the child was born.

1355
01:27:36,453 --> 01:27:38,659
He's performed
all the daily functions of a father.

1356
01:27:38,789 --> 01:27:41,077
Sam acknowledges him
as his father.

1357
01:27:41,207 --> 01:27:46,450
For the sake of clarity,
I think it's best that Mr Whittaker
be referred to as caregiver...

1358
01:27:46,588 --> 01:27:48,415
in these proceedings.

1359
01:27:48,548 --> 01:27:49,959
Thank you, Your Honour.

1360
01:27:50,926 --> 01:27:52,254
Mr Whittaker...

1361
01:27:52,386 --> 01:27:56,299
did you live for five years
with a certain Eric Walker?

1362
01:27:56,431 --> 01:27:57,630
Yes.

1363
01:27:57,766 --> 01:27:59,509
And what was the nature
of that relationship?

1364
01:27:59,642 --> 01:28:01,682
- Objection, Your Honour.
- Overruled.

1365
01:28:01,812 --> 01:28:03,092
We were together.

1366
01:28:03,230 --> 01:28:07,097
Is this the same Eric Walker that's now
serving a five-year prison sentence
for drug possession?

1367
01:28:07,234 --> 01:28:10,769
Yes, but I haven't seen him
for seven years. This has
nothing to do with anything.

1368
01:28:11,530 --> 01:28:13,855
Mr Whittaker,
on October 8th of last year...

1369
01:28:13,991 --> 01:28:17,859
did you go to a nightclub
in Santa Monica called...

1370
01:28:17,995 --> 01:28:20,201
Sit and Spin?

1371
01:28:22,416 --> 01:28:23,661
I don't remember.

1372
01:28:24,710 --> 01:28:26,868
Sit and Spin's
a gay club, isn't it?

1373
01:28:27,004 --> 01:28:30,088
- I hadn't noticed. Probably.
- Did you notice drug use going on?

1374
01:28:30,215 --> 01:28:31,923
- No.
- Mr Whittaker, is it true...

1375
01:28:32,050 --> 01:28:34,968
that you're an active member
in several militant gay organizations?

1376
01:28:35,095 --> 01:28:37,847
I used to help distribute food to AIDS
patients. I'd hardly call that militant.

1377
01:28:37,974 --> 01:28:41,425
- Does Sam understand that you're gay?
- No, not really.

1378
01:28:41,561 --> 01:28:44,051
Have you ever tried to explain to him
your sexual proclivities?

1379
01:28:44,188 --> 01:28:45,813
No, he's a six-year-old boy.

1380
01:28:47,483 --> 01:28:50,650
Wait. He once asked me
why I didn't sleep with his mother.

1381
01:28:50,778 --> 01:28:53,067
- And what did you tell him?
- She snores.

1382
01:28:54,615 --> 01:28:58,115
Mr Whittaker, has Sam ever seen you
have oral sex with another man?

1383
01:28:58,244 --> 01:28:59,619
- What?
- Stop it!

1384
01:28:59,746 --> 01:29:02,497
- Objection, Your Honour!
- I said stop it.

1385
01:29:02,623 --> 01:29:05,328
Counsel, I suggest
you confer with your client.

1386
01:29:09,589 --> 01:29:11,996
- Do you wanna win here, Abbie?
- You said he didn't have a chance.

1387
01:29:12,133 --> 01:29:14,375
- You don't have to kick
the shit out of him.
- Your Honour...

1388
01:29:14,510 --> 01:29:17,179
this hearing is not about
my client's sexual history.

1389
01:29:17,305 --> 01:29:18,965
No, it's about his character...

1390
01:29:19,098 --> 01:29:21,934
and whether he has the type of character
that would lead anyone to trust him...

1391
01:29:22,060 --> 01:29:24,729
with shared custody
of a young boy.

1392
01:29:24,854 --> 01:29:25,933
Your Honour...

1393
01:29:26,064 --> 01:29:27,807
you want to know
about my character?

1394
01:29:27,941 --> 01:29:29,518
I'll tell you.

1395
01:29:29,651 --> 01:29:32,568
I am an active father.

1396
01:29:32,695 --> 01:29:34,569
- Caregiver, please.
- Father!

1397
01:29:38,243 --> 01:29:41,908
I'm a father to a boy
who I love to death.

1398
01:29:43,582 --> 01:29:46,203
I've been living with a woman
who until recently...

1399
01:29:46,334 --> 01:29:48,374
was my best friend
in the whole world.

1400
01:29:49,462 --> 01:29:51,870
I'm also a homosexual man.

1401
01:29:53,300 --> 01:29:54,544
That's who I am.

1402
01:29:57,346 --> 01:30:00,430
- What does that make me?
- I don't know.

1403
01:30:00,557 --> 01:30:03,558
- A hypocrite?
- Your Honour, objection!

1404
01:30:03,685 --> 01:30:06,390
- I withdraw the comment.
- It's getting late.

1405
01:30:06,521 --> 01:30:09,013
We'll take a recess
until Monday morning.

1406
01:30:09,150 --> 01:30:11,722
Ms Reynolds,
you will allow Mr Whittaker...

1407
01:30:11,860 --> 01:30:14,316
a visitation with Sam
this Sunday.

1408
01:30:19,410 --> 01:30:23,621
Stayed true to the things
I knew when I was younger

1409
01:30:25,082 --> 01:30:28,201
Food and love, that's all
that's left of hunger

1410
01:30:28,335 --> 01:30:30,078
...at least
another three singles.

1411
01:30:30,212 --> 01:30:34,080
I mean, we're just gonna have to dump
the album. How much money
have we invested in these guys so far?

1412
01:30:34,216 --> 01:30:37,217
Yeah, we're not gonna spend
another dime. Oh, please.

1413
01:30:37,344 --> 01:30:38,720
Like I care.

1414
01:30:39,972 --> 01:30:41,680
Excuse me.

1415
01:30:44,101 --> 01:30:45,679
I'll call you back.

1416
01:30:48,313 --> 01:30:51,896
You probably don't remember me.
At least, uh, I hope you don't.

1417
01:30:52,026 --> 01:30:54,149
Oh, I... I remember you.

1418
01:30:54,278 --> 01:30:56,769
I need to talk to you
about something important.

1419
01:30:58,490 --> 01:31:00,530
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna make a scene.

1420
01:31:06,666 --> 01:31:08,991
After Abbie and you split up...

1421
01:31:09,127 --> 01:31:11,084
did you ever see each other again?

1422
01:31:12,755 --> 01:31:16,005
- Maybe one more time?
- I don't know.
What business is it of yours?

1423
01:31:21,222 --> 01:31:22,253
His name's Sam.

1424
01:31:24,809 --> 01:31:27,015
- What?
- Just turned six.

1425
01:31:30,565 --> 01:31:33,317
- Oh, no way, man!
- Come on. Look. He's got your chin.

1426
01:31:34,486 --> 01:31:36,775
I'm an idiot.
I didn't see it before.

1427
01:31:37,864 --> 01:31:40,818
Look, if she sent you here
looking for money, this isn't
exactly the right time.

1428
01:31:40,950 --> 01:31:45,031
No, no. As a matter of fact,
she's counting on you having
absolutely no interest at all.

1429
01:31:45,163 --> 01:31:48,200
- So what's this got to do with me?
- I need your help.

1430
01:31:57,968 --> 01:31:59,676
Hey, Sam!

1431
01:32:03,557 --> 01:32:04,968
Slow down!

1432
01:32:06,560 --> 01:32:08,137
Ya-hoo!

1433
01:32:08,270 --> 01:32:10,346
Come on. Come on. Turn right!
Turn right! Turn right!

1434
01:32:10,481 --> 01:32:12,189
- Wow!
- Okay, let's go.

1435
01:32:14,275 --> 01:32:16,315
You can't get me!
Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!

1436
01:32:16,445 --> 01:32:18,734
- I can get you back.
- Ha! I got you!

1437
01:32:18,864 --> 01:32:21,402
Hey, Kevin.
Glad you could come.

1438
01:32:21,533 --> 01:32:24,783
Sam, this is an old friend
of mine, Kevin. Say hi.

1439
01:32:24,912 --> 01:32:27,035
- Hi.
- No, say hi properly.

1440
01:32:28,916 --> 01:32:30,992
It's very nice to meet you.

1441
01:32:32,878 --> 01:32:34,917
Sam. That's a good name.

1442
01:32:39,427 --> 01:32:41,383
It's full of Japanese people.

1443
01:32:45,641 --> 01:32:47,599
- Is it true, or are you joking?
- What?

1444
01:32:47,727 --> 01:32:50,300
Is that true about the tidal wave?
Will it happen?

1445
01:32:54,317 --> 01:32:56,439
- Whoa!
- He calls you Daddy.

1446
01:32:56,568 --> 01:32:58,442
I've been his father
since the day he was born.

1447
01:32:58,571 --> 01:33:00,729
So what's this
got to do with me?

1448
01:33:00,865 --> 01:33:02,988
Mm, I need your help.

1449
01:33:03,117 --> 01:33:06,735
- I need you to sue for joint custody.
- What?

1450
01:33:06,871 --> 01:33:10,322
Abbie's getting married.
Her fianc� lives in New York.
She wants to take Sam there.

1451
01:33:10,458 --> 01:33:12,700
I can't stop them because
I'm not legally the father.

1452
01:33:12,836 --> 01:33:15,457
- I don't think I can
get involved in this.
- No, no, no, no, listen.

1453
01:33:15,588 --> 01:33:17,914
I'll pay all the court costs.

1454
01:33:18,049 --> 01:33:20,207
I'll pay for your time,
whatever it takes.

1455
01:33:20,343 --> 01:33:23,095
They'll give you joint custody,
and once they do,
we'll make our own arrangement.

1456
01:33:23,221 --> 01:33:26,139
I'll take full responsibility for him.
You never have to see him again
if you don't want to.

1457
01:33:26,266 --> 01:33:28,887
- I can't agree to something like this.
- Hey, Dad!
- Hey!

1458
01:33:30,979 --> 01:33:32,556
Please help me.

1459
01:33:34,148 --> 01:33:35,346
Please?

1460
01:33:36,192 --> 01:33:39,193
This... This is crazy.
I can't help you. I'm sorry.

1461
01:33:45,660 --> 01:33:47,700
Before I announce my ruling...

1462
01:33:47,829 --> 01:33:50,402
does anyone
have anything else to add?

1463
01:33:53,126 --> 01:33:54,620
I do, Your Honour.

1464
01:33:56,797 --> 01:33:59,168
Seems like I've spent my whole life
thinking about blood.

1465
01:34:00,717 --> 01:34:02,626
Worrying about blood.

1466
01:34:03,762 --> 01:34:04,841
And blood...

1467
01:34:06,097 --> 01:34:09,716
Well, it's just like shit.
We're all full of it.

1468
01:34:11,311 --> 01:34:13,518
It's good, it gets bad...

1469
01:34:13,647 --> 01:34:15,686
but it's not who we are.

1470
01:34:17,275 --> 01:34:19,731
Being a parent...
a real parent...

1471
01:34:19,862 --> 01:34:21,901
takes more than DNA.

1472
01:34:22,031 --> 01:34:25,566
No one can hand it to you,
and no one can... can take it away.

1473
01:34:26,869 --> 01:34:29,193
I have earned my right
to be Sam's father.

1474
01:34:30,789 --> 01:34:32,912
So, no matter what you decide...

1475
01:34:34,085 --> 01:34:36,124
Sam is my son...

1476
01:34:36,253 --> 01:34:37,877
forever and always.

1477
01:34:40,007 --> 01:34:41,715
Mr Whittaker...

1478
01:34:41,842 --> 01:34:45,792
I know how deeply attached
you are to this child...

1479
01:34:45,930 --> 01:34:49,050
and that you've been
an exemplary parent.

1480
01:34:50,017 --> 01:34:55,012
And I personally believe that love
and devotion should not go unrewarded...

1481
01:34:55,147 --> 01:35:00,224
but my job is to adjudicate
the laws of the state of California...

1482
01:35:00,361 --> 01:35:02,687
and at this time
I have no choice...

1483
01:35:02,821 --> 01:35:06,866
but to grant sole custody
to Sam's mother...

1484
01:35:08,160 --> 01:35:09,406
Abbie Reynolds.

1485
01:35:17,963 --> 01:35:19,587
Are you all right, darling?

1486
01:35:26,263 --> 01:35:29,133
Excuse me, Your Honour.
May I approach the bench?

1487
01:35:29,265 --> 01:35:32,681
- What's this about?
- Well, my client feels
he has a stake in this case.

1488
01:35:32,811 --> 01:35:35,432
- Your client?
- Kevin Lassiter, Your Honour.

1489
01:35:35,563 --> 01:35:38,647
- I'm Sam's natural father, Your Honour.
- You're a little late.

1490
01:35:38,775 --> 01:35:41,183
I didn't find out till last week.
Abbie never told me.

1491
01:35:41,861 --> 01:35:44,863
- Is that true, Ms Reynolds?
- Yes.

1492
01:35:44,989 --> 01:35:48,276
Your Honour, we'd like to present
evidence proving that Mr Lassiter
has a good steady job...

1493
01:35:48,409 --> 01:35:50,651
and a sizable extended family
in the area.

1494
01:35:50,787 --> 01:35:55,247
Are you asking for shared custody,
Mr Lassiter?

1495
01:35:55,375 --> 01:35:58,708
I just want to be able to spend
enough time with him to find out.

1496
01:35:58,837 --> 01:36:03,084
- I'm asking to know him.
- Counsellors, approach the bench.

1497
01:36:09,473 --> 01:36:11,881
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Look, I meant what I said.

1498
01:36:12,016 --> 01:36:14,769
I gotta figure this out for myself.
I gotta get to know my son.

1499
01:36:14,895 --> 01:36:16,555
- Oh, sure, we can...
- No.

1500
01:36:16,689 --> 01:36:19,475
This is between me and Sam.
This has nothing to do with you.

1501
01:36:22,360 --> 01:36:24,400
Look, I'm just being honest.

1502
01:36:33,080 --> 01:36:35,156
In light
of this recent development...

1503
01:36:36,417 --> 01:36:39,833
I will not render judgment
in this matter...

1504
01:36:39,962 --> 01:36:43,877
until a custodial examination
is completed.

1505
01:36:44,008 --> 01:36:46,878
We will reconvene
four months from today...

1506
01:36:47,011 --> 01:36:50,261
on November 15th,
and Ms Reynolds...

1507
01:36:50,389 --> 01:36:53,805
will have temporary custody
of the child...

1508
01:36:53,935 --> 01:36:57,470
but will not be allowed
to leave the state of California...

1509
01:36:57,604 --> 01:37:00,559
pending further order
of this court.

1510
01:37:04,820 --> 01:37:07,027
Sorry, Robert.
I know how difficult this is.

1511
01:37:14,663 --> 01:37:16,906
- You son of a bitch!
- Come on. Don't.

1512
01:37:17,041 --> 01:37:20,208
- I did what I had to do.
- You had to bring that guy
back into my life...

1513
01:37:20,336 --> 01:37:22,495
back into Sam's life forever.

1514
01:37:22,631 --> 01:37:26,462
- You gave me no choice, Abbie.
- You had a choice.
You had a choice.

1515
01:37:26,592 --> 01:37:30,341
- For as long as you live, you will
never be able to take this back.
- Abbie, let's go. Come on.

1516
01:37:32,390 --> 01:37:34,430
Robert, I'm so sorry.

1517
01:38:30,532 --> 01:38:32,988
- Hey, Robert.
- Hi, Ben.

1518
01:38:33,118 --> 01:38:34,281
How ya doin'?

1519
01:38:35,704 --> 01:38:37,744
Don't worry.
I never let him see me.

1520
01:38:37,873 --> 01:38:41,788
Look, um, I'm... I'm sorry
about the way this all...

1521
01:38:43,421 --> 01:38:44,879
You know.

1522
01:38:46,257 --> 01:38:48,713
- Didn't leave.
- Nah.

1523
01:38:48,842 --> 01:38:51,334
I didn't... I didn't take
the partnership, and I left the firm.

1524
01:38:52,596 --> 01:38:54,553
You do what you have to, you know?

1525
01:38:56,141 --> 01:38:59,059
- How's Kevin?
- We saw him once...

1526
01:38:59,186 --> 01:39:01,345
but that was months ago.

1527
01:39:01,480 --> 01:39:04,647
- Where's Sam?
- He's inside with Abbie.

1528
01:39:04,775 --> 01:39:07,017
- Teacher conference.
- What did he do?

1529
01:39:07,153 --> 01:39:08,351
He's got a reading problem.

1530
01:39:08,488 --> 01:39:12,355
Won't keep his book right side up.
Thinks his version is better.

1531
01:39:12,491 --> 01:39:14,234
- Dad!
- Sam!

1532
01:39:14,368 --> 01:39:16,491
- Hi.
- Sam, come back here right now.

1533
01:39:16,621 --> 01:39:18,578
- Dad!
- Sam, over here right now!

1534
01:39:18,706 --> 01:39:20,248
- But, Mom...
- Get in the car.

1535
01:39:20,375 --> 01:39:23,162
D-Dad! Dad!

1536
01:39:23,294 --> 01:39:25,453
- Dad!
- Look, uh...

1537
01:39:27,132 --> 01:39:28,329
It's too soon.

1538
01:39:31,218 --> 01:39:32,464
Maybe someday, huh?

1539
01:39:48,319 --> 01:39:49,483
Window.

1540
01:41:04,856 --> 01:41:07,144
We really messed up, didn't we?

1541
01:41:11,112 --> 01:41:12,440
How's Sam?

1542
01:41:13,573 --> 01:41:16,360
He's fine.
He misses you.

1543
01:41:22,790 --> 01:41:24,118
I miss you.

1544
01:41:30,674 --> 01:41:32,049
I miss us.

1545
01:41:44,729 --> 01:41:46,722
Go have dinner with your father.

1546
01:41:46,856 --> 01:41:49,643
- Dad!
- Sam!

1547
01:41:51,736 --> 01:41:54,737
- How are you? How are you?
- Great, but no more daddies, okay?

1548
01:41:56,240 --> 01:41:57,617
Right.

1549
01:42:00,161 --> 01:42:02,238
Just have him back
after dinner, okay?

1550
01:42:03,790 --> 01:42:06,363
What do you want to have
for dinner, son? Hmm? Huh?

1551
01:42:06,501 --> 01:42:09,171
It's Thursday.
We have roast beast on Thursdays.

1552
01:42:10,547 --> 01:42:12,873
You're so right. We do.

1553
01:42:16,720 --> 01:42:19,176
- I love you, Sam.
- I love you, Daddy.

1554
01:43:10,716 --> 01:43:13,337
<i>Did you write
the book of love</i>

1555
01:43:13,468 --> 01:43:18,297
<i>And do you have faith
in God above</i>

1556
01:43:18,431 --> 01:43:22,928
<i>If the Bible tells you so</i>

1557
01:43:23,062 --> 01:43:27,059
<i>Now do you believe
in rock and roll</i>

1558
01:43:27,190 --> 01:43:31,236
<i>And can music
save your mortal soul</i>

1559
01:43:31,362 --> 01:43:35,146
<i>And can you teach me
how to dance</i>

1560
01:43:35,282 --> 01:43:38,449
<i>real slow</i>

1561
01:43:38,577 --> 01:43:42,361
<i>Well, I know that you're
in love with him</i>

1562
01:43:42,498 --> 01:43:46,710
<i>'Cause I saw you dancing
in the gym</i>

1563
01:43:46,836 --> 01:43:50,039
<i>You both
kicked off your shoes</i>

1564
01:43:50,173 --> 01:43:53,920
<i>Man, I dig
those rhythm and blues</i>

1565
01:43:54,051 --> 01:43:58,049
<i>I was a lonely teenage
broncin' buck</i>

1566
01:43:58,181 --> 01:44:01,881
<i>With a pink carnation
and a pickup truck</i>

1567
01:44:02,018 --> 01:44:05,766
<i>But I knew that I was
out of luck</i>

1568
01:44:05,896 --> 01:44:07,770
<i>The day</i>

1569
01:44:07,898 --> 01:44:12,276
<i>The music died</i>

1570
01:44:12,403 --> 01:44:17,066
<i>I started singin'
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie</i>

1571
01:44:17,200 --> 01:44:21,494
<i>Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry</i>

1572
01:44:21,621 --> 01:44:25,072
<i>And good ol' boys were
drinkin' whisky and rye</i>

1573
01:44:25,208 --> 01:44:29,454
<i>Singin' this'll be the day
that I die</i>

1574
01:44:29,587 --> 01:44:33,585
<i>This'll be the day
that I die</i>

1575
01:44:39,597 --> 01:44:42,349
<i>I met a girl
who sang the blues</i>

1576
01:44:42,476 --> 01:44:47,102
<i>And I asked her
for some happy news</i>

1577
01:44:47,230 --> 01:44:50,564
<i>But she just smiled
and turned away</i>

1578
01:44:52,194 --> 01:44:56,143
<i>Well, I went down
to the sacred store</i>

1579
01:44:56,281 --> 01:45:00,195
<i>Where I'd heard the music
years before</i>

1580
01:45:00,327 --> 01:45:03,446
<i>But the man there
said the music</i>

1581
01:45:03,580 --> 01:45:07,495
<i>Wouldn't play</i>

1582
01:45:07,626 --> 01:45:11,837
<i>Well, now, in the streets
the children screamed</i>

1583
01:45:11,963 --> 01:45:16,127
<i>The lovers cried
and the poets dreamed</i>

1584
01:45:16,260 --> 01:45:19,546
<i>But not a word was spoken</i>

1585
01:45:19,680 --> 01:45:22,966
<i>The church bells
all were broken</i>

1586
01:45:23,100 --> 01:45:27,311
<i>And the three men
I admire the most</i>

1587
01:45:27,438 --> 01:45:31,649
<i>The Father, Son
and the Holy Ghost</i>

1588
01:45:31,775 --> 01:45:34,812
<i>They caught the last train
for the coast</i>

1589
01:45:34,945 --> 01:45:36,819
<i>The day</i>

1590
01:45:36,947 --> 01:45:41,325
<i>The music died</i>

1591
01:45:41,452 --> 01:45:46,244
<i>We started singin'
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie</i>

1592
01:45:46,374 --> 01:45:50,501
<i>Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry</i>

1593
01:45:50,627 --> 01:45:54,127
<i>And good ol' boys were
drinkin' whisky and rye</i>

1594
01:45:54,256 --> 01:45:58,504
<i>Singin' this'll be the day
that I die</i>

1595
01:45:58,635 --> 01:46:02,336
<i>This'll be the day
that I die</i>

1596
01:46:16,320 --> 01:46:19,155
<i>Bye, bye, Miss American Pie</i>

1597
01:46:19,282 --> 01:46:23,446
<i>Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry</i>

1598
01:46:23,578 --> 01:46:27,030
<i>And good ol' boys were
drinkin' whisky and rye</i>

1599
01:46:27,165 --> 01:46:31,412
<i>Singin' this'll be the day
that I die</i>

1600
01:46:31,544 --> 01:46:35,542
<i>This'll be the day
that I die</i>

1601
01:46:35,673 --> 01:46:40,383
<i>We started singin'
Bye, bye, Miss American Pie</i>

1602
01:46:40,512 --> 01:46:44,723
<i>Drove my Chevy to the levee
but the levee was dry</i>

1603
01:46:44,849 --> 01:46:48,301
<i>And good ol' boys were
drinkin' whisky and rye</i>

1604
01:46:48,436 --> 01:46:52,647
<i>Singin' this'll be the day
that I die</i>

1605
01:46:52,774 --> 01:46:56,854
<i>This'll be the day
that I die</i>

1606
01:46:56,987 --> 01:47:00,652
<i>We started singin'</i>

1607
01:47:00,783 --> 01:47:04,566
<i>We started singin'</i>

1608
01:47:04,702 --> 01:47:08,403
<i>We started singin'</i>

1609
01:47:08,540 --> 01:47:10,866
<i>We started singin'</i>